DECEMBER!

December= 18 days until I get to FINALLY see Kevin and 25 days until CHRISTMAS!!

Random fact #1 about Lindsey- I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! Not in a "oh those lights look pretty" type of way, but I love every aspect of the holiday and the entire month leading up to it. We usually put our Christmas tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving, but this year we put it up on Thanksgiving! And you better believe the Christmas music has been playing since then.

I think my favorite part of Christmas is the tradition we have always been a part of on the Curry side of the family, my favorite being Christmas Eve. It is always at my Aunt Jill's house, where more than likely we will have tamales, queso, and lots of booze! We also always do a white elephant, one for the women and one for the men. The women's always gets very intense (usually everyone is fighting over what my Aunt Candy brings)! My Uncle Steve dresses up as Santa and brings all the little kids a gift, and then we all get to take pictures with him. Overall it is just a great night that we all get to spend together and have lots of laughs. I usually only get to see the whole family together once or twice a year, so it's great getting to catch up with everyone, which there are TONS! My dad is one of seven (and five of the seven are grandparents), so you can only imagine how big our holidays get!

But this year I think I have so much more to be excited and thankful about. First of all, I will finally get to be with my sweet hubby after 9 weeks of not seeing him!!! This will be our second Christmas as a married couple, but our first in Texas with our families. Last year we decided we would stay in Baltimore, and my mom and sister flew up to visit for a few days, and then Kevin's mom and younger brother Liam flew up right after them. It was great having a Christmas in our home. This year will be a lot of traveling, but I CAN NOT wait to finally get to see everyone after such a long time. Our plan is that December 20th we will drive to the valley and stay with Kevin's parents. We still haven't decided when exactly all of his relatives will be coming over to celebrate Christmas, but we will be attending the Curry Christmas Eve for sure. Then we will be waking up early Christmas Morning and driving back to Huntsville to have Christmas Day with my mom and sister, and the day after that we will be going to Austin to see my grandparents on my mom's side. So overall, it could be almost an entire week of Christmas festivities and I am so excited!!

Hope everyone is staying safe and warm on this cold and rainy first of December!! And you better believe my TV will be thoroughly enjoying abc family's 25 days of Christmas!

Weird...

Let me begin by saying that I can not wait for Monday to get here! Although this week has gone by at a pretty steady speed, I am beginning to get extremely anxious. I know a while back I said I was torn about wanting to stay in Texas, but as the holiday season approaches, I realize how nice it would be to stay here in Texas and be able to enjoy the holidays with our families. That being said... this Thanksgiving was a weird one for me. Don't get me wrong, it was good and I was so thankful to be with my mom and sister, but it was just a little "off" for me.

This time last year, Kevin had just graduated from boot camp and we had moved to Baltimore. Our first full day in Baltimore was Thanksgiving Day, and it was so memorable! It was our first holiday together as a married couple, and it was such a disaster with the move that we had to hunt for our pots and pans, silverware, and plates...but that was what made it so great. It was just the two of us, in our pajamas, in the freezing cold, eating around boxes. Being together was what made it perfect. This year on the other hand, was the complete opposite. We were separated by 1700 miles and the trip I thought I was going to be able to take the day after had to be postponed, so it wont be another 3 weeks before I get to see him.

Besides missing my husband terribly. I feel like my immediate family is just in a very "weird" place. Lauren, my younger sister has started dating her ex boyfriend Austin again. He left this past August to attend Texas State in San Marcos. He doesn't come home to visit often, but obviously he was home for Thanksgiving. This week started off great. Lauren and I would go and run every morning and she would go to work with me in the afternoon. It was the first time in a long time that we had spent some really quality time together in a long time! Austin came into town Wednesday and everything changed. She has begged, pouted, and been depressed every minute she has been home with us until she gets her way and is able to go hang out with Austin. I understand that she wants that "family" atmosphere, but at the same time she needs to realize that me and my mom are her family! This is what she has to work with for the rest of her life. I guess more than anything my feelings were really hurt... I got ditched for a boy (who has treated her like crap in the past).

Then on the other hand you have my mom. First of all, when Lauren gets upset about seeing Austin my mom loses it, and then eventually gives in. But then Lauren gets to leave, and I am the one here that gets to listen to my mom repeat 15 times that she is just so pissed. But her moods quickly shifts once her cell phone rings. You see... Kelli and I sort of set my mom up! Well...its more like Mr. Vallejo (Kelli's mom's new husband) set them up, but we can take the credit for it. It has gotten to where they talk on the phone for hours every night! And although all I want is for my mom to be happy...it is just WEIRD! I mean she is either on the phone with him, or talking to me about him, or making us clean the house because he is coming to pick her up for a date tomorrow! Like I said, I am so thankful she is happy and enjoys talking to him and I truly do hope that things work out between them, but it gets overwhelming.

I have come to realize that I am a person who does not like change very much. I mean moving and rearranging furniture type of change is fun and exciting, but my day to day life needs to stay consistant, and at this point it is not. I feel so out of place... all I want at this point is to move out. Not that I am miserable and hate it here, but because I feel like I'm left in everyone else's dust. As my Lauren and my mom's lives are moving and pushing forward, and I stuck here in my "dungeon" (that's what I've decided to call my "room", which is really the office with a twin bed shoved in a corner). So sorry my Thanksgiving Day post wasn't upbeat and very thankful, I think I have just been consumed by the weirdness of what I am going through at this point in my life!

Well, for those of you who use my blog as the main source of information from me you will be disappointed to find out that I did not find out our picks yesterday. :( There had been some miscommunication with Kevin's class and the instructors, so we will not be finding out our picks (or better phrased, options) until NEXT Monday! December 30th will be the day though...and with how fast this week is already flying by, hopefully I wont die from anxiousness. We have both tried sitting down and talking about where we would like to go, and we both are stuck. Obviously Texas would be nice, but there is still that tiny little piece of me that wants to pull away and go somewhere new and exciting. Plus we don't know if Texas will even be an option, so my next choices consisted of Florida and California (someplace WARM!). To my dismay, Kevin told me Florida is pretty much out of the question since there are so many people in his class who will be picking that as their first choice. The whole "picking" process is very weird and random to me, but basically the whole class is on a point scale. The longer you have been in the Coast Guard, and if you have had at least 6 months of sea time you get more points. Kevin has more than several people because he has already been in a year, but the people who have been at sea will dominate and pretty much get whatever they pick (which seems to be FLORIDA!) And I really am torn as far as California goes just because it is so expensive to live there! So, we are basically back at step 1, where we are still asking each other where would we like to go. It is probably silly and a waste of time to even think about this, because we don't know what will even be available for us to choose from, but its still fun. Kevin has yet to throw out any ideas or suggestions, so I have no clue where he would like to end up, but I think his heart belongs to Texas, and that is where he wants to stay.


In other news... I started my PRE half-marathon training. haha. I know what your thinking...pre? Well, the program I found to help me train is a 12 week program that begins the first week in December. I wanted to make sure that I could even handle the 2, 3, and 4 mile runs that are in that first weeks program so I decided this week would be used to push myself and get the habit of running going. Yesterday my sister Lauren and I decided we would run to the Sam Houston Campus, and by the football stadium there are huge sets of stairs that go up the hills, and we would run a few sets of those. Mind you...I ran cross country, played soccer, and I did swimming (all of which ended my sophomore year of high school). I went into this thinking that somehow, by the grace of God, I was still in the same shape I was in when I was 16! I mean, of coarse I would be... even though I have gained 50 pounds since then! So we began, and it really wasn't that difficult (in the beginning!) The night before we had traced the route with my mom's car and it was just a little over 3 miles to run to the campus and back to our house. I must have gotten 3/4 of the way to the campus before I started feeling like I was going to DIE! But Lauren was my version of Jillian from the Biggest Loser and pushed me and made sure I didn't walk. We ran the whole way to the campus (1.5 miles), got some water, caught our breath, and then started the stairs from hell! We did ten sets (10 ups, and 10 downs), which doesn't sound like a lot unless you have seen these stairs! I will have to take a picture to post on here so you can feel my pain. Lauren pushed me the whole way through those as well, constantly saying, "just one more set..." Once we finished those we drank some water, walked through the campus until we got to the main road, and ran back to our house. I could have died after all of that with how worn out I was, but waking up this morning I feel so accomplished! Today our goal is to just run 2 miles. I am basically following the training program for next week, so I know that I can do this. As we were ending our run yesterday and I felt like I could collapse on the ground, I kept thinking, "there is no way I am going to be able to do a half marathon" but then again I never would have thought I could run 3 miles again. It was a breaking point for me. I want to accomplish this, I want to do it for myself, and I will! It is going to take a lot of courage, determination, sweat, tears, pain, and support but I will get through this! I am on my way to a new and improved ME and I can't wait!

Goals

Okay... I realize that it isn't even December yet, but I have been working on my list of "New Year Resolutions" if you want to call it that. I like to consider it facing harsh reality, staying strong, and giving myself GOALS. Since it is hard to imagine what my life will be like in 5 years (since Kevin could possibly be out of the military at that point!) I have decided to come up with a list of things I would like to accomplish within the next year. So by November 18, 2010 I would HOPE that I am able to check off every item on my "to-do list". Here is my list, and it is not in any sort of order based on importance, because the overall goal is to just achieve them all!

#1.) GRADUATE! So obviously this one is pretty self explanatory. And with graduation, comes my Aggie Ring. I stated school at A&M in 2004... and although I would LOVE to be able to take classes this upcoming spring and be done my May 2010, there are just a few milestones I have to figure out before this can happen. But, like I said... I WILL be done with school within a year. I have all of my credits (excluding statistics), but my GPA is too low. I just need to get really focused, and put forth every bit of effort I have left to make the A's that I need and to be done FOREVER! I have put too much time and money into this to not finish. My mom has been a huge help with this as well. She never finished college, and now at 49 years old she will be graduating from Sam Houston State University on December 19, 2009! (about a month before she will turn 50) I have seen how hard it is for her to work full time, have kids, and try to go back to school. I want to make sure that I have my degree and education taken care of before life gets any more hectic.

#2.) To find a job that I love (and pays decent). It is always difficult to find a new job, and with the way the economy is right now, it seems nearly impossible. I am just hoping and praying that I will be able to find the perfect job once we find out where we are moving. I don't want to work once I do have the opportunity to have a baby, but in the mean time, I want to be able to make enough that we can live comfortably and start building a good "nest egg" for ourselves.

#3.) Get to my ideal weight! I have been working on weight loss probably since I graduated high school, but didn't take it seriously and actually start seeing results until 6 months ago. To this day, I have lost 30 pounds, and although that is a great amount of weight, my BMI still considers me overweight. My goal is to get to a healthy weight and BMI, which will mean losing between another 10-30 pounds. My goal weight has always been 130, for as long as I can remember. Now I see that its not so much about what the scale says, but how I feel. I have taken this step for myself, because I was tired of not feeling good about me. I would like to lose another 20 pounds, but it is going to take a lot of hard work and determination, which leads me into my next goal...

#4.) To train and compete in a half marathon on February 27, 2010 in Fort Worth, TX. This is probably the most short term goal that I have throughout this list, in the fact that I want to accomplish this within 3 months. This weekend will be the last weekend before Kevin graduates from A-School. It would be such a huge reward for me, to know that I put forth enough effort, energy, and will power to finish a run that is 13.1 miles long! This is what I need to help kick start the rest of my weight loss journey, and to get me in the best shape of my life! Because the goal I have after this will require taking very good care of my body!

#5.) You guessed it... my truly deep passion, to become pregnant again. Of coarse Kevin and I would love to see each other at Christmas, and be able to get pregnant right then, and have a chance at another baby. But the reality of that happening is not very comforting. I feel like the earliest we would even be able to start trying again would be in March once he is done with school. My whole attitude towards this, this time around, is that I am not going to stress and try to force this to happen when I want it to. I learned from the miscarriage that God is in control and has a plan, so when it is the right time, it will happen (but I'm hoping it will be within the next year!) And I'm not saying I want to have a baby to hold in my arms within the next year, I just want to become pregnant and stay pregnant sometime within this next year. (I used that same kind of pregnancy test, and it was the most thrilling, heart racing feeling to see those tiny little words)

#6.) to get a new car!! Well, more than likely it will be used...but new to us! Both of our cars are 10 years old (almost 11!) and have well over 150,00 miles. Mine actually is closer to 209,000 miles at this point! I'm not exactly sure what kind of car I want, but I have been torn between the Ford Edge and the Expedition for a long time! I figure whatever car we do get, we will have for another 7 years or so, so I want to make sure that I get something that my family can grow into. I of coarse would love to get another Toyota 4-Runner or Sequoia, but those are just a little out of our price range at this point.

So there you have it... and stay tuned within the next year to find out when I am able to "check" something off of my list!!

Ohh... and only 4 more full days until we get the list of "picks" for our next station! I can't wait!!

Slowly But Surely

Well, I should know by now that life never turns out the way you want or anticipate it to. We have been waiting on several refund checks to come in the mail... one from gold's gym, one from Ft. Meade (where we used to live), and we are waiting on Kevin's housing allowance to show back up in his pay checks. We had been anticipating all of these checks to come in this past Friday...and guess what, they still aren't here! Because of this very inconvenient "waiting game" we had not booked my plane ticket to see Kevin yet. As the days keep passing, the price of my ticket keeps rising, and it has reached the point where it would be outrageous for me to spend that much on a ticket, when Kevin will be coming home for Christmas about 3 weeks from my planned trip. At first I was devastated... nothing ever seems to work out in my favor. All through my life my mom has told me that "the hard times just make your tougher"...well I think I'm a pretty tough girl and why is it that the "hard times" seem to just keep coming back to slap me in the face? Wouldn't they like to go visit someone else and toughen them up for a little while? I mean, all I want is a breath at this point. But, being the "strong" person that I am, I am once again forced to find the positive out of all of this (which I am still working on...) but at least I have come to grips and realize that the trip I was looking forward to will just have to be postponed. I will still get to see my husband soon, but instead of next weekend, it will be in a month (which I can hopefully handle).

On the brighter side... in exactly a week from today Kevin will be giving his "picks". Basically they will be told what their options are for their next station. There are 18 people in his class, so there are 18 "picks". They have already been told that only 4 or 5 of the stations are not land based (meaning they would be on a cutter a.k.a BIG boat). This is great news for us, since we want Kevin on land, and close to home. So that knocks it down to about 14 picks that Kevin will be looking at. He will get the list of stations (well, I guess he will be working at a sector now, but it's all the same to me!) next Monday, we will get to talk about, and then around Wednesday they will turn in their "dream sheet" of where he would prefer to go, and the following Monday he should be told where his next billet (basically where we will go next) will be! So, what does all this mean to someone who doesn't really understand what I'm trying to explain... we will know where we are moving in TWO weeks! I could not be more excited! This will give me tons of time to research where we are moving, find good neighborhoods, have plenty of time to find a rental home, and start looking for jobs! When Kevin graduated boot camp I had two WEEKS to figure all of that out... which didn't really work out in our favor, so having three months is about the most exciting news I could get at this point.

So there is my positive to look to when I get upset about not getting to go on my trip to California... I may be at home, but I will be able to start "planning" (thats right...I am able to PLAN and be a military wife...this sure is a first!) Once again I'm trying not to get my hopes up or anticipate too much, but really...I feel a break from these "hard times" coming and hopefully it is going to be sooner rather than later. Even though I still have until March for Kevin to come home for good, it feels like the end is in sight. Not meaning that the time for him to come home is any closer, but the fact that I can feel and see that we will be able to go into this new move and new place much more prepared.

And for everyone who knows me, you know how badly I have wanted to move back to Texas after living nearly a year in Maryland. Well, this may shock you... but I don't know if I want that anymore. That is another reason why I am so excited to just see what are options are when it comes to moving, because this may be the last "adventure" we get to take. Kevin isn't sure if he will want to re-enlist when his contract is up (in another 5 years!) so where we get stationed next will be where we stay for the next 4-5 years. As tough as it was to be so far away from family and friends, it was also one of the best times of my life. It showed me how much my husband means to me, and helped us to build a bond that I think few people are able to expereince. There is a whole different relationship between you and your husband when all you have is eachother. And although there were nights I cried because I hated being so far away, in the end my husband is who I pick. It is time for us to be able to live a somewhat normal life once he graduates, and at this point he could take me all the way to Guam and I wouldn't care, because I would be with him. So, be waiting... this time next week I will be able to fill you in on if Texas will even be an option to us or not!

A few pictures from the Veterans Day Parade

Veterans Day

Here is an article from the newspaper in Petaluma, California. Kevin, along with the rest of the men and women at the Coast Guard Training Center participated in this parade. Kevin said the most touching thing about the whole experience was actually after the parade when they went to have lunch. He said a group of kids came up to their table and told them all "thank you" and that several people in their group actually got choked up. I miss Kevin everyday, but I think today has been the hardest. The military is a part of who I am now, and it broke my heart that I was not able to be there to support MY hero. (I hope to have pictures of the Coast Group by tomorrow, and if so I will post them as soon as I can!)

Petaluma celebrates its veterans

By YOVANNA BIEBERICH,ARGUS-COURIER STAFF
Published: Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 5:01 p.m. Last Modified: Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 5:01 p.m.

Petaluma celebrated America’s military men and women in grand style today at what turned out to be the largest North Bay Veterans Day Parade to date.
A total of 120 entries participated in the parade, which featured marching bands, military jeeps, classic cars, horses, walking groups dressed in uniform and flyovers by vintage war planes and a military helicopter.
“It was the biggest crowd we’ve ever seen,” said parade organizer Steve Kemmerle. “People were coming up to me afterwards and saying, ‘This was the best parade we’ve ever seen.’”
The North Bay Veterans Day Parade is the largest parade of its kind in Northern California. It is now in it’s 20th year.
“There was great enthusiasm at the parade today,” said Karen Kemmerle, Steve’s wife. “As I went down the line at the parade staging area, there were just so many happy people. I think this was probably the best parade yet.”
One of the highlights this year was a T-34 Russian Tank and a Russian M-85 artillery piece, which the National Guard carried on a low-bed truck. Petaluma-based CamelBak sponsored the appearance of a Huey helicopter, which flew over the parade, along with Yak vintage planes and a P-51 Mustang.
“There were a lot of military jeeps and of course the Russian tank drew a lot of interest,” said Karen. “The horses were also a big hit.”
Another highlight was the Marin Mounted Sheriff’s Posse, which carried four Pearl Harbor survivors in green-fringed surreys.
“My matched grey horses generally get applause in parades, but Petaluma’s applause to the Pearl Harbor survivors went way beyond any expectation I could have had,” said Gary Sello of the Marin Mounted Sheriff’s Posse. “We followed the Posse color guard and four people with flags and a banner announcing who was in the surrey. The crowd stood, saluted, applauded, removed hats, shouted ‘thank you’ and showed such deep levels of appreciation that at times, I counted on my team to go where they should as my eyes were too moist to have focused vision.”
Grand Marshal for the parade was Army Lt. Col. Steve Countouriotis, a Petaluma resident who served multiple tours of duty flying Blackhawk helicopters in both Iraq and Afghanistan.
The parade was followed by a Veterans Day ceremony in Walnut Park featuring a speech by grand marshal Countouriotis, music and guest speakers.

Anticipation

Week 4...who seriously counts down time by weeks these days? Oh yea...I do! Kevin's A-School is 18 weeks long, so we are down to 12 weeks left! What a difference this has been from when he left for boot camp. If A-school were as long as boot camp, he would be half way, but instead he is less than a quarter of the way through! But on the upside... at week 6 I get to go see my beloved hubby. For those of you who didn't know, Kevin is currently attending a training program in Petaluma, California and if everything stays on track he will "graduate" on March 5, 2010 (Paige, your baby better come early!). Although the plans are still in the works, it is our goal that I get to fly to visit him November 27-December 1. I am so anxious at this point! It absolutely kills me to go this long without getting to see, touch, hug, or kiss my husband of 15 months! I wake up every morning hoping that this has all just been a dream and I will open my eyes to see his peaceful face sleeping (well, more like wake up to his jack hammer snoring!) Although this is probably one of the toughest things to go through, I do know that in the end it just shows me that I can not live without him. I feel like our marriage and our relationship is sealed completely, and nothing can tarnish it. He is who "fills me up" inside, because with him gone I feel completely empty. He is my world, my soul mate, my best friend.

We've started talking about what we want to do while I am there visiting and I feel like there just wont be enough time to do it all! I know that for sure I want to go to Napa Valley, along with visiting San Francisco and getting to see the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. He is also very close to the red wood forests so being the Parks and Recreation major that I am, I am DYING to go there! We really wont have but Saturday and Sunday to do much, since Monday he will have class until about 3 in the afternoon and I will fly out on Sunday, but the thing that I am most excited about seeing (and doing...) is Kevin (hey! we are still "newly weds").

A few pictures of the things I can't wait to see!

What a Tragedy

As many of you know, yesterday there was a horrible attack on Fort Hood, Texas. As the details of the attack keep being released, I am filled with more anger and most of all fear. I can remember vividly the day the twin towers were hit and everything that progressed on 9/11. This day, which they are calling a "terrorist" attack as well, hits a lot closer to home for me. I just moved off an an army post in Maryland less than a month ago, and I can say from personal expereince that I never felt safer than when I was on the army post. Most of the soldiers on Fort Hood have been to Iraq an average of 4 times!! I can't imagine having my husband deploy, come back safe, and then be killed at "home". I can't fathom what these families are having to go through, and my thoughts and prayers are with all of them.

Being a part of the military "family" really opens your eyes to several things. First of all, when was the last time that you took a long, deep look at our flag...watching it sway in the wind, and think about what is actually stands for. Do the words to our national anthem give you goosebumps? I can't seem to get through any sporting event without tearing up because of these "minor" things. So many people don't even appreciate the simple beauty of this, and I used to be one of them! Having the opportunity to watch my husband do colors and bring the flag down at the end of the day has been one of the patriotic moments in my life. Secondly, I think it makes you realize how often we take life for granted. These soldiers who deploy, leave their loved ones back at home wondering if they will ever return. How many people can actually say that they would have the courage to do that?! I know I don't...and that is what makes me so proud of my husband. Although the odds of him getting deployed are slim to none, I know that there may come a time when his life will be put in danger, and he has volunteered for it.

God Bless America and our soldiers!

Running on Fumes

Well, as you all know I have officially been back in Texas for 3 weeks and 3 days! Since I have been back every weekend has had some sort of fun filled activity for me to attend, but I have yet to have any time with my mom and sister (who were the main reason I decided to come back to Texas).

This past weekend was a LONG one! I can't remember the last time I felt so sleep deprived. I drove into College Station and worked Thursday and Friday, and at 6 when the EXIT closed our reunion began! As the old kids and staff began to stream through the doors I was overwhelmed with memories and emotions. We all sat outside and visited (I didn't participate in the game of knock out since I am a HORRIBLE basketball player) until a little after 7. We all piled into our cars and headed out to Boss Kelly's ranch, where we sat around a bonfire (which I helped build...and was almost attacked by a snake in the process), had some GOOD food and drinks, and played around a little. I mostly sat and visited with people I hadn't talked to in a while (or ever for that matter). We finally called it quits close to 3 am and headed back to Kelli's house where we had a semi-slumber party (you know me and my slumber parties!!)

We woke up at 8:30 the next morning and we were all off to a pretty rough start. We eventually got some breakfast, showered, and changed into our costumes. Eli, Kelli, and myself dressed up as penguins for the A&M game, and everytime I looked at Eli I couldn't help but bust out laughing! We went to his house to tailgate before the game, and then walked on down to Kyle Field. The tailgate and game were probably my favorite part of the entire weekend. It has been so long since I have been to a game and since one of the EXIT staffers (Taylor) plays for A&M we made him signs and snuck them in! It was such a great feeling being back at Kyle Field. It was also military appreciation day so everything made me tear up a little since it really hit home, having a husband in the military.

After the game Paige had to head home, and Kelli and I went back to her house to get cleaned up and have a costume change...the next set being NERDS! We went to Shelly's house where she had halloween decorations up everywhere...including her garage! There were two beer pong tables set up, with black lights along the floor and the fog machine going. And I must say... me and Taylor (also known as the "Eli Rejects" kicked some butt at beer pong!) It was an overall fun night, I loved getting to see everyone's costumes. I headed home early to talk to Kevin for a little while before I went to bed since I was so exhausted!

I still feel like I am trying to catch up on my sleep, but I am getting there. This weekend I look foward to having a very slow and calm weekend with my mom and Lauren (even though Lauren is NEVER home). I have a feeling it will consist of lots of movies, some wine, and a few tears. Sunday Lauren has a soccer game in Conroe, and I'm so excited Paige is coming to watch with us. She is the varsity coach for Cy-Falls and has scheduled a scrimage against the Huntsville team for sometime in January, so she is going to be "checking out" some of our players...HA!

Now I just have to get through the next 3 days...

Realization

Well, life has become a total whirlwind of craziness! I started working at the EXIT again this past week and have been gone for about 5 days. I got back to Huntsville last night around 9:30, and I will be back in CS from Thursday to Monday again! Although I am worn out and feel drained, I love being able to stay so busy. I have had a lot on my mind the past couple of days, all of which has been very hard to shake. First of all, I am finally beginning to realize that Kevin is going to be gone for a lot longer than I was prepared for. I keep thinking about how great it is that he gets to come home December 18th, but that is still 8 weeks away! Although this time around is much easier than when he was in boot camp since we can talk, text, email, and facebook, but it just isn't the same not having your husband with you for months at a time. I keep wondering what has my life turned into? This is not what I had pictured for myself by any means... but I guess God likes to throw us all a curve ball every once in a while. I feel like my life is on hold...I don't know where we will be going next so I can't even begin looking for jobs, and without a husband who is present, you can't really try for a baby either. I know we made the right choice when we decided for Kevin to go to this school, but I have never felt more alone than I do now. I know that I am back "home" and have my family and friends close by, but I feel like I have lost "MY" family...I don't have my husband and we lost our baby, so I feel as if I have no one at this point. It's hard to believe that I had my D&C exactly 4 weeks ago as of today. There for a while I think I just suppressed my emotions on the whole thing, but as time goes on I find myself constantly thinking about it and tearing up. I understand that God has everything under control and it just wasn't our time to have a baby, but this sadness really does get to a point where it is unbearable. This coming weekend is our EXIT reunion which I am extremely excited about, but also very concerned about as well. There will be two girls who are pregnant and are definitely showing at this point. I couldn't be happier for either couple, but at the same time it is just hard to see someone else with what you want more than anything. And I'm not talking about the feeling you get when you see someone with the IPhone... there is nothing materialistic about my biggest "want". I know when the time is right I will get my chance to have a baby, but right now I just feel extremely empty inside...

Wedding Weekend

This past weekend was one of my good friend's wedding. Aimee and Trey both worked at the EXIT with me, and Aimee was an RPTS major as well. Saturday morning we all met at Kelli's house to ride together (Kelli, me, Eli, and Shelley). We got to Marble Falls around 2 in the afternoon and began to "pre-party". Kelli was feeling sick so she stayed in the room (boo!) while Eli, Shelley, and myself enjoyed the River Grill which was next door to our hotel. The wedding was beautiful, and of coarse lots of fun! Kelly and Jeff Kelbly showed up, so it was like a mini EXIT reunion (since we have our REAL one coming up Halloween weekend!) Kelli's mom and Mr. Vallejo always come prepared with their bottle of whiskey and sprites/cokes so we sat outside and enjoyed having our little group all together again. I hadn't had that much fun in a very long time, and there was lots of much needed laughter. I have a feeling my stay in Texas is going to go by much quicker than what I am anticipating. I will begin working at the EXIT again this Thursday, and will work 3 days a week. It's nice to know that I will be able to work while I am here for a few months, and with people who hold such an immense place in my heart. Although it is tough not being with my husband for months at a time, I am so thankful for the friends and family I have.

Little Pieces of Good News

So I have officially been back in Texas for over a week! I can't believe how fast time can fly by. Kevin had his first "real" day of A-School yesterday and for the most part it sounded like it was a good day. The only complaint he had was the fact that they have to stay in uniform from the time they wake up to the time they go to bed (and not their ODU's which are the uniforms he is used to wearing, but his trops which are the "fancy" uniforms). Other than that, he also found out that he will be able to take 2 weeks of leave for Christmas, starting December 18th. I have been dying to know when he would be able to come home so I could start a countdown, so as of today, I only have 58 more days until I get to see him! :)


And another little piece of exciting news... I began my weight loss journey in the middle of May after a visit to my mom's and playing Wii Fit with her and my sister. I never really knew how much weight I had gained over the years until I saw my weight compared to theirs. It was a huge wake up call, and I started really watching what I ate and would try to do about 30 minutes of cardio a few days out of the week. I had done really well, and the week I found out I had finally lost 20 pounds, was also the week I found out I was pregnant. So due to the fact that I knew I would be gaining all my weight back, I stopped worrying so much about keeping with a healthy diet. I didn't gain much, probably about 5-7 pounds before I had the miscarriage. Then with the move and everything else, I just never got back to taking care of ME. Now that I am settled in here and have the opportunity to focus on me and making myself happy, I am kick starting everything again. I did my Wii Fit again today, with the excitement of finding out I have gotten back down to my original weight loss weight, plus some! I have lost a total of 24 pounds!! I know I still have a ways to go, but it feels great to see that I can do this, and I will! My goal is to lose around 2 pounds a week, so by the time Kevin comes home for Christmas I will have lost another 16 pounds. This will put me at the weight I was when I graduated high school (and a total loss of 40 pounds!) I figure that right now is the best time for me to focus on taking care of my body, so that it will be in the best possible shape when we do get the opportunity to start trying for a baby again.

Big Changes

Well, I know it has been a while since my last blog...but we finally moved!! Well, sort of. We left our comfy little townhouse in Fort Meade, Maryland on Friday, October 9, 2009 and made the wonderful drive down to Huntsville, Texas. We drove about 12 hours on Friday, going through Maryland, Virginia, and stopping in Tennessee. We woke up early on Saturday and drove another 13 hours, going through Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and finally Texas! It felt so good to finally get here and be done with all of that driving, but we had such a busy week ahead of us! On Sunday we went to Lauren's soccer game which was out in Houston somewhere, and got to just spend the day with my family. Monday we spent the day getting all of Kevin's clothes packed properly, making sure he had everything, getting his uniforms dry cleaned, and all of that fun stuff! Tuesday we drove down to San Marcos to cut about 3 hours off of Kevin's drive since he would be going through San Antonio, and that was also our last day together before he would begin his trip to California. It was a fun day but of coarse it went by too fast, and before I knew it, it was Wednesday morning and time for both of us to get on the road. It was so hard saying bye to him, knowing that I wouldn't see him until Christmas. He got to New Mexico on Wednesday, LA on Thursday, and San Fransisco Friday. He reported to Petaluma, CA on Saturday afternoon and today is the first day his classes will begin. I'm not too sure how things work throughout all of this so hopefully today he will be given some information on everything and tonight when he gets to call he can pass it along! So until then, I will be trying to kill time and start figuring out my "method of attack" on weight loss.

Life Must Go On

What I am learning more and more is that you can't expect most people to have any sort of "real" pity or understanding of what it is that you may be going through. There are the select few family members and truly great friends who will actually keep you in their thoughts and prayers, but for the most part people say they are sorry for what it is that you are going through, but are still more consumed with what is going on in their own lives. Not that I expect every person I know to drop everything they are doing to worry about how I am doing (especially since the last thing I want is pity), but it would be nice for people to be a little more caring while dealing with this situation. This is probably one of the hardest things I will go through considering how badly I want to start a family. Unless you have had a miscarriage, there is no way to feel the pain that Kevin and I have gone through. Yes, I have tried to move on and to be strong and it gets a little easier each day, but it still hits hard when it does.

I haven't cried since I had this surgery. I don't know if its because it hasn't really hit me yet, or if it's because I have already had time to mourn over the loss of this baby. I honestly think it is a mix of the two. I know I do feel numb to what is going on, but at the same time I have had 3 weeks to prepare myself for this loss. I knew going into this surgery that I had already lost my baby, and this was more of a way for me to get back to "normal". I know that in reality, Kevin and I wont be able to try again until he gets back from A-School ( in March), so this will be a tough couple of months. I can't imagine what it will be like when April rolls around and we still don't have a baby. I just keep praying that God will give us our baby when it is the perfect time. In the mean time we will be working to prepare ourselves not only financially, but spiritually as well since we know we want to raise our family in a strong christian home. I will also be working to continue my weight loss journey, and hope to get to my ideal, healthy weight before having to carry a baby.

On top of all of this, we have been extremely busy packing and getting ready for our move. We will be trying to load as much as possible into our storage unit this coming Sunday, so we have about 3 days left to try and get everything into boxes. I'm very OCD when it comes to stuff like this, so my packing is very precise and organized, and a little more time consuming (but it pays off in the end!). I am also looking forward to having everything packed so that I can then focus on getting the house clean, and finally having the time to read "Breaking Dawn", which is the last book in the Twilight series.

One of my favorite lines from a song is this... "Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride". I am having to take each day as it comes, some are easy and some are hard, but they are each a new day. Life must go on, and I wont let this get the best of me. I have been blessed with an amazing support system and I can't wait to get back to Texas to be with all of them.

Surgery

Well, it has been approximately 24 hours since I was released from the hospital yesterday. For some this may be to graphic, but I feel I must write exactly what is going on in case I ever need to recall this information at some point in the future.

As I stated in my last post, I had my D&C yesterday at 3:30 pm. When I got off the phone yesterday morning at 9:30 I think I was almost relieved to know that soon my body would be getting back to normal. Nearly an hour later my body began to let go of the baby, and I start to have some light bleeding. According to what the baby measured (6 weeks 6 days), this would have been about 5 weeks 3 days later. It is weird to think that it took my body that long to finally start "releasing" this baby. As the day progressed, so did the bleeding and cramping. When I finally got to the hospital, I was taken into the OR and they began prepping me immediately. I have never had any sort of experience in a hospital so I was scared out of my mind, and they made Kevin wait in the waiting room for the majority of the time. They had me change my clothes, fill out paper work, took my vitals, and gave me an IV. I was extremely blessed with a wonderful tech and nurses who did help keep me calm and made me laugh. Kevin was finally able to come in and visit for about 15 minutes before I was taken into surgery. Right before the wheeled me out they put a sedative into my IV, which hit me FAST! I remember getting wheeled into the operating room, moving onto the table, and talking to the anetheologist about why they put my arms onto these little side tables with restraints. The last thing I remember is him saying "wow, you have some serious double jointed arms!" and my response was "well I broke that one, so that's why is so screwed up!" and then I was out. Next thing I know I am getting woken up in recovery. I had to wait there for about an hour, and then I was able to change back into my clothes and head home. I did have very heavy bleeding for about an hour after the surgery, and then it became much lighter and has stayed that way today. I also had horrible cramps all through the night and this morning, but for the most part I have been pain free.

Kevin was awesome through all of this. When he was able to come in and finally sit with me he made sure to keep my mind off of everything and make me laugh. Poor guy had to spend hours in a waiting room and yet he made the best out of everything. We went and had dinner at Chili's once I was released (since I hadn't been able to eat all day!!) and then came home and watched "The Biggest Loser" and "90210". It still amazes me how blessed I am to have such a wonderful husband.

It's Time...

As time has slowly drifted by since that very first doctors appointment which brought sadness to our hearts (September 9th) I have grown more and more frustrated with my ob/gyn. It seems like this entire process has taken forever, and the more I think about it the harder it is to comprehend what is exactly going on with my body, and therefore I want this to all just be over with. I have still not spoken with my doctor since my radiologist appointment which was last Thursday. Instead of calling me himself he continues to have the RN call me, but she has yet to give me the results either. All I have been told is that the baby is a loss, nothing else. So since last Thursday I have been trying to get a hold of my doctor to schedule my appointment to havemy DNC done. It was not until this morning that I finally got some answers.

I will be having my mini surgery today at 3:30 pm. Kevin and I must arrive at the hospital at 1:30, and the procedure shouldn't last more than about 30 minutes. After asking a friend who has gone through this in the past I found out that I will be hooked up to an IV (hopefully explaining why I have to be there 2 hours early) and will be lightly sedated. I can't eat or drink anything all day until all of this is overwith.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am absolutely terrified of docotrs so this whole experience has been difficult, but now that I am about to have to go spend me entire day in the hospital I am beginning to freak out a little bit. A friend of mine from high school (and A&M) has been so helpful through all of this and actually sent me a verse that I have been repeating in my head all day to hopefully help ease all of my tension and worries. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.Isaiah 41:13 (Thank you Meredith!)

I know that Kevin and I have been on several people's thoughts and in their prayers over the past 3 weeks and we just want to thank everyone for that. I know that I have felt truly blessed and although this is a difficult situation and today is going to be a difficult day, I can honestly say at this point that I do know there is a reason this is happening to us and although we may not know it right now, God will show us soon.

Confirmation

Well I had my radiologist appointment yesterday and the results were devastating. It was confirmed that our little baby OC is a loss. At the appointment they did not say much more than to expect a call from my doctor to explain the results and to determine where to go from here. I did receive a call from the RN today, letting me know that my doctor was reviewing my results and would call by Monday morning. He is in the hospital on Tuesdays, so it looks like I will hopefully have my D&C then.

I was shocked at how well I handled all of this news. They wouldn't let Kevin come into the ultrasound room with me so I was very nervous going in there alone. I think I am able to handle this better than what many people expect because I have had nearly 3 weeks to prepare for all of this. I do still have my sad moments every day and I have noticed that I seem to get angry a lot easier than before, but hopefully that is just a part of the craziness my hormones are experiencing. I know that Tuesday is going to be a very hard and sad day, but I am also very ready to move on from here.

Inspiration

Here is a link to a story that is truly inspirational...
http://www.zimbio.com/watch/rS5abniyDZL/Biggest+Loser+Abby+Rike+Overcoming+Tragedy/Access+Hollywood


One of my favorite shows is "The Biggest Loser". It is so motivational to me, in the fact that it makes me want to eat better and to work out and to take care of my body. With everything that is going on right now, I feel like more than ever I want to be a couch potato and lay around doing nothing. The season started last Tuesday, but I didn't get the chance to watch the episode until Friday (the 18th). This was the first day that I was feeling better, and I had Kevin home with me which made it easier. I watched this episode, and cried my eyes out. Abby has become my inspiration and has made me realize that even though I feel what I am going through right now is hard, it could be so much worse. This poor woman (who is from Texas also) lost her husband, and her two children in a car accident. She had a 5 year old daughter and a son who was 2 1/2 WEEKS old! I can not imagine the pain she has had to go through... I realize now how much I take for granted and how quick I am to feel sorry for myself. I can honestly say I thank God every day now for my husband and my family. He may have decided it isn't the right time for us to have a baby, but we will one day. I can not fathom losing everyone you love all at once. But she is able to go on living and wants to live a better life, so she has chosen to go on the Biggest Loser and knows that she is meant for something bigger. She will do great things with her life, and I am sure is a huge inspiration to many!

Another story I saw today that broke my heart was on a friend of mine's facebook status. Here is the exact quote... "Plese pray for my sister's friend. Last night, lightning struck her house and this morning she found both of her 2 year old twin boys dead in their sleep. The cause is probably heat stroke from the lightning. These are their 4th children to lose, so the pain has got to be immense. They need all the prayers they can get."

As I am seeing and hearing these stories I am more aware that everyone goes through difficult times, some harder than others. Although the pain of a miscarriage is difficult, I am still able to get up every morning and go on living my life. I now see that God works in mysterious ways and Kevin and I will have our chance of having a baby whenever the time is right. As of now, I am able to see past my hardships and thank God for showing me that my life is not as bad as I can make it out to be. My thoughts and prayers are with the two families above.

I just hope that I can keep this optomistic attitude up after my radiologist appointment on thursday...

God Bless and I hope everyone enjoys their first day of FALL! (The Holiday Season is quickly approaching!!)

Purpose

As I am slowly but surely starting to feel better with each coming day, I have to thank God for helping me through this. Although I do find myself every once in a while still asking "Why?" I am beginning to see that maybe the reason I am having to go through this is to help strengthen my faith, and to realize it is time to start helping those in need.

I can remember being so active with my church growing up, and with that doing so much to help families in need. I can remember vividly the one Sunday a year the majority of the congregation would gather in the gym to put boxes of food together for families around Thanksgiving. We would then devide them up and deliver them. It made Thanksgiving that much more special, and helped show that we have so much to be thankful for. It helped keep priorities in line, and I can remember crying every year when I saw kids around my age having to live in such difficult conditions. My other favorite activity was at Christmas getting a list of children and the items they would want and need. Our youth group would make a trip to Target and we would each get a child's name and a certain amount of money to spend. We then each got to go through the store and pick out what it was that we wanted to give that child based on what they had requested, and often times it was a few toys and shoes. Once we all purchased our gifts we would go back to the church, wrap them, and then deliver them.

Although these only took place twice a year, and around the holidays, it always touched my heart and made me want to be a part of something bigger. As the holidays are beginning to aproach this year, I am looking forward to finding sothing to volunteer my time with. Kevin and I will be participating in a walk for children with down syndrome along with my close friend Kelli and her mom on October 11th. Although all I am really contributing is a small donation, it is a start. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to let me know.

Preperation

Well, the past couple of days have been a roller coaster of emotion. I am feeling less mad (Sorry God!) and slowly more at peace. I know what is coming, and so I am beginning to prepare myself for the emotional and physical hardships. Yesterday Kevin and I went to Walmart with our list of items that we needed. As we walked down the aisle of laundry detergent, we came across the "feminine products". It was then that I realized I had thrown out the remainder of mine when I found out I was pregnant, and I would soon be needing them again. As I placed the box into our basket I found it much easier than what I was expecting. Don't get me wrong, I am sure that when I have my appointment this week with the radiologist and they confirm I will be losing my baby, I will have a melt down. But like I said, I am more at "peace" or at least I have just become numb to the thought of what is happening inside my body. I am to the point where I want this to be over with so I cna try to forget about it and move on and try again.

But for the most part, I have been okay. Saturday was Kevin's 26th birthday! We didn't do anything very exciting, we had lunch at my favorite place (Chili's) and then played with Kevin's birthday present (the AeroSmith Guitar Hero)...boys just never seem to grow up! That night we opted for staying at home and having that time with eachother. We had a movie marathon and fried chicken (Kevin LOVES Popeyes for some reason...) It was a very uneventful day, but Kevin loved it... I think he was trying to avoid the fact that he is getting older! We have been able to live life and laugh. It hasn't been miserable every minute of every day. We are coping with it the best we can, and still looking for the positive in all of this. So far here is our list of positives... (1.) When we do get pregnant again, Kevin will be home for it, and not at school for 4 1/2 months (2.) We wont be moving when I am 9 months pregnant (3.) I will be able to go to Kevin's graduation in California in March (4.) We will have more time to get things paid off, and be a little more "financially" ready (5.)When we do get pregnant with a healthy baby it will make it that much more special (and this is the most positive thought of them all!)

Besides all of our disappointment, there is a very exciting event coming up...We will be moving!! Well actually, Kevin will be going to school in California, and I will be staying with my mom in Texas, but we are getting out of Maryland! YAY!! We will be leaving October 9th, so the countdown has begun (17 more days!) We have our pre move-out inspection on wednesday, so I will be packing and cleaning like crazy the next two days. We will be putting our stuff in a storage unit up here beginning October 1st, so we can do it a little at a time for about a week. It is becoming more and more real that this is going to be happening VERY soon, and it can not come fast enough! With everything that is going on, being close to family and friends is the best thing I could ever wish for. It is going to be really tough being away from Kevin for that long (4 1/2 months!) but he will be able to come home for 2 weeks at Christmas and I am planning on going to visit a few times too. He will be in Petaluma, CA which is about 30 miles north of San Fransico and appears to be very close to Napa Valley and the Redwood Forests. Neither of us have been to CA before, so I know Kevin is extremely excited, and I can't wait to go visit.

So here is the schedule for this week, and I will be posting again soon.
Running around town today, cleaning like crazy tomorrow, pre move-out inspection on wednesday, radiologist on thursday (please keep us in your prayers this day), and rest on friday

Bad News Gets Worse...

Well, we had our second appointment yesterday to check everything out with the baby. At this time according to my last period, I should be 11 weeks. When they took measurements of the baby, it is only measuring 6 weeks 6 days. At this point in time regardless, there should be a visible heartbeat and there still is not. To make absolute certain the baby is going to be a loss, I go in AGAIN next week to a radiologist to have everything checked out once more. If there is still no heart beat I will have to decide what form of "miscarriage" I would like to have.

This has been the hardest, most difficult time in my life. I just don't understand why God would give someone the joy of a baby, and almost 3 months later decide maybe it wasn't the best idea and take it away. I know that right now is the worst time to get angry with God, but I just don't understand... there are hundreds of girls out there getting pregnant at 15/16 years old who should not have a baby, yet they get pregnant and are able to go full term with a healthy baby. Or what about the people who decide to have an abortion... WHY?!? Why would God give them a baby, knowing that they would decide to just throw it away. I feel like I have had my fair share or hard times throughout life, probably more than most, so why me? If God knew me and my desires he would know that a baby is the only desire I have. At this point I have to just keep praying for peace, and to know that for some reason this IS God's will and he has a plan for Kevin and I, no matter how hard it may be to see right now.

This is heartbreaking news to Kevin and I, and I can't imagine how our families are going to take it. I already know my mom is extremely torn up by this, and now we get to experience the joy of turning around and telling all of our family/friends/and facebook that we will no longer be having a baby. Now I completely understand why people wait until they are out of their first trimester to tell anyone... although by the time I find out for certain what is going on I will be in my last week of my first trimester, so I guess "week 12" isn't always the safe point. I feel like I have every emotion running through my mind and body...sadness, anger, confusion, jealousy, pity, numbness, and emptiness.

Baby OC!

So the big news these days is that we are expecting a baby! On July 26, 2009 I took a home pregnancy test which came out positive, and we had it confirmed on August 3, 2009. We could not be more excited! At the time of our confirmation, the estimated due date was April 5, 2010. All I have ever wanted out of my life it to have a family and be a mother. It has been a little stressful thinking about the pregnancy and the fact that Kevin will be gone for the bulk of it, but the little baby that will come out of it seems to ease all of our worries. We had the opportunity to tell our families when we were in Texas and since this will be the first grandchild for both of our families so our parents are thrilled.

We had our first prenatal visit on September 9, 2009 (9/9/09!!) According to my estimated due date, I was 10 weeks pregnant for this appointment. We went into this appointment so excited and expecting to recieve a picture of our growing baby and the joy of hearing his/her heartbeat. What we found at this appointment was worry and heartache. Since this was the first appointment, we were there for nearly 2 hours! It felt like a medical and informational overload! I got a flu shot, pap smear, pelvic exam, and blood work done (they filled like 7 viles!) plus the doctor told us everything we could have ever possibly needed to know and most of it actually felt like it went in one ear and out the other! Towards the end of the exam the doctor tried to find the baby's heartbeat using the doppler which is a tool that amplifies the babies heart beat so you can hear it. He tried finding the heartbeat with that and could not find it, so he then tried an ultrasound. He found the baby and he found that it is actually alot smaller than he was expecting. Due to that, he then decided to use the vaginal ultrasound. With this he found the baby again, but still could not see the heartbeat. Of coarse this is the last thing that any expecting parent wants to hear. The doctor didn't seem very concerned, he just seemed to think I am not as far along as we originally thought. He had me schedule another appointment for this coming Wednesday at his other office where he has a better ultrasound machine. It feels like this coming week will be the longest week of my life! Kevin and I are both trying to stay very positive, and take each day one at a time.

So Sorry...

Well, I keep telling myself I will do better about keeping up with this blog and it just never seems to happen. Let me see if I can back track a little to fill you in.

The end of June my mom and Lauren came up to visit. They were dying to see the house on the army base we had just moved into and were here for 10 days! It was so nice having them around. This was the second time they came up to visit us since we moved to Baltimore, and it was much warmer this time around! I am shocked at how my relationship with my mom has grown. I can honestly say she is one of my best friends and I deeply miss living close to her and the rest of my family. Lauren went to prom this year with her boyfriend who is a senior, so she brought me a picture which I have on my fridge. We didn't do as much sigh seeing this time around, but we did go to the Coast Guard base and got to take a ride on one of the boats. We alos found a state park in Annapolis (Sandy Point) that had a small beach, so we laid out and enjoyed the sun, water, and the interesting orange sand. It was sad when they had to go back home, but I was getting ready to start summer camp for work and it was time to get back to "real life".

On August 4th, Kevin and I finally made it down to Texas TOGETHER! I have been down a couple of times, but this was the first time since November 2008 that we both were in Texas. Kevin's cousin Aaron was getting married in San Antonio on August 8th so we flew into McAllen and got to spend time with our families in South Texas. We had a long list of the things we wanted to do and eat once we got back home! The first full day we were in Texas we made it down to South Padre and had lunch at Whataburger! It was amazing!! The week seemed to fly by and before we knew it, it was time to come back home.

The big news once we got home was Kevin got order for his A-School. It is basically a training school that will allow him to specify what his job will be for the Coast Guard. He is going OS, which is operation specialist. He will basically sit at a computer all day, which isn't as exciting as what he gets to do now, but he will get to come home every night! Kevin is very ready to leave Baltimore and continue on with his Coast Guard career so this is a great step in the right direction. He is a little indecisive when it comes to making a career out of the Coast Guard, but I have a feeling that when his contract is up in 5 years he will decide to find something else to do. He has always had his eye on joining the FBI, so that may be what he tries to achieve once he is able to. He is also thinking about going back to school to get his masters. I just love him so much and he makes me so proud!! :)

So with the big news of Kevin's orders, we found out we will be moving!! THANK GOD!!! Kevin will report to his school on October 18, 2009 and his graduation in March 4, 2010! He is going tobe gone for so long, it is gonna kill me! During this time I will be staying with my mom and sister in Huntsville, TX. I am hoping I will get to visit Kevin once a month in Petaluma, CA. Neither of us have been to California so we are looking at this as just another adventure we are getting to go on. At this point we are planning on leaving Baltimore on October 9th and driving to Texas for a few days and then continuing our trip to California. I will be back in Texas on October 18th and will be helping my grandparents with a junior league show on the 21st! No rest for me! Then for Halloween weekend we are having an EXIT reunion. This is where I worked all through college and I can not wait to see everyone again!

Wow...

So I have become very aware that I amprobably the worst blogger ever! I have not kept up with this very well, but with the craziness that comes with life, it is hard to sit down and make the time to write my thoughts.

Our main goal with this blog is to keep our family and friends up to date with what is going on in our newly married lives, espically since now we live 1500 miles away. So much has happened since I last wrote, but I will never remember it all! I guess I will touch on some key points.

First of all, I finally got a job. I am currently working with the howard county parks and recreation department. It was so nice to finally get a job and start working again. Although there are many days I wish I did not work, for the most part I am very thankful I get to work with kids which always seems to make me happy. Kevin is now fully qualified, and has begun his application for Officer Candidate School. This is pretty exciting, but a long process. I am ready for his to go to OCS, but at the same time he will be gone for nearly 4 1/2 months! We did move AGAIN! We are now on the army base, Fort George Meade. We LOVE our new house. It is in such a great location, nice neighbors, SAFE, and has grass!!!

Eli and Paige made it up here during spring break which was such a well-needed visit. I made it down to Texas at the end of January and around the beginning of May. It is always so nice to see everyone again, but it makes me so homesick! My mom and sister are trying to come up here mid-June and I can not wait! Kevin and I will be making the long drive back down to Texas the end of July/beginning of August for a two week vacation back home. We will be in the Valley, San Antonio, and Huntsville (and some other stops along the way). I can not wait to be able to see everyone and not feel so rushed.

As for now that seems to wrap up all the main things that have been going on (that I can think of). It is always a constant struggle to keep up with the hecticness of life, and Kevin and I are learning the importance of making time for eachother. Since we only see eachother every couple of days, the time we do have has to be utilized to the fullest! I think we are both extremely homesick and hope and pray that we get stationed back in Texas very soon! Hopefully I will have some pictures up soon of the new house, and of our latest adventures!

Multiple Blessings

Sometimes it will hit me out of the blue that I am actually married and living in a completely different state! It is scary, but we are learning to take things day by day and make the best of it. I just recently read Multiple Blessings by Jon & Kate (the parents of twins and sextuplets). I love their show, but the book was something completely different. It was very faith based, and exactly what I needed. I have felt so far away from God, and after reading that book it has made me understand that I need to just let God take control. I am the type of person who wants to figure everything out and have a plan. That is just not realistic being a military wife, and I am learning that everything that has happened and will happen is in God's plan for us.

For the first time since we moved here in November, it is really beginning to feel like home. I have had the opportunity to meet several of the people Kevin works with, and I can gladly say that they are some of the most down to earth and fun people I have met. Since we have moved here, we have had the opportunity to hang out a couple of times, and each time I seem to meet one or two more people. This past weekend I was able to finally meet one of the other wives. She is the first I have met, and things just seemed to click! We have actually kept in touch since Saturday, and have plans to spend the afternoon together with her two year old son. This is such a big step for me, considering this is the first time I will be able to go hang out with someone without Kevin since we have moved.

One of the things I love the most about Kevin's shipmates is how active they are. We actually are all planning on going bowling tomorrow once they are get off. It is such a great way to meet all of them, get to know them a little better, and actually have some time outside of the house and around people!

A few Pictures

Happy New Year! Our first as a married couple!

Liam, Me, and Kevin at Liberty

At the World War II Memorial- We miss Texas!!

Us at the Lincoln Monument. He is HUGE!!

Kevin and I in front of the White House (the back side)

All of us at the National Aquarium

Me, my mom, and Lauren in front of Charm City Cakes (yea... the one from Food Network!)

Our new home in Baltimore!







Kevin and I at his Coast Guard boot camp graduation

Life in Baltimore

Well, as I am quickly realizing, I will never catch up on all the blogs I have missed out on, so I am going to just pick up where I left off. As you all know, Kevin and I currently moved to Baltimore, Maryland, nearly 1500 miles away from the safety of our family and friends. It has been a huge transition for the both of us, but for the first time in almost two months, today I have finally felt as though this is slowly but surely becoming our new home and that I am okay with that.

Over the past couple of weeks we have had a ton of family visiting, and today has been the first time in a little over two weeks that I have been home all alone again. My mom and sister came to visit, arriving Christmas Eve and leaving December 30th. We did so much while they were here, like finally visiting the National Aquarium and going to D.C. We also had a ton of fun playing my new Wii! It was so hard saying good bye to them, mainly since I do not know when I will get the chance to see them again. On December 30th, after my mom and sister left, Kevin's mom and brother Liam came to visit. Liam left January 8th, and after dropping him off at the airport I quickly realized that I am beginning to hate the airport more and more. It has become a place of goodbyes and heartache.

But besides the excitement of the holidays, Kevin and I are doing great. He basically works a shift similar to that of a fireman. He works two days on, then two days off, and works every other weekend. This makes time between the two of us scarce, but it also allows us to cherish that time together even more. We have become addicted to skiing/snowboarding. About an hour away from us in Pensylvania, there is a ski resort called Liberty. We have gone twice now and although I attempted snowboarding I failed misserably! We go with some of the guys Kevin works with, and so I am also getting to slowly meet and know them. Besides those outings, we typically stay close to home and try to just enjoy time with eachother.