Weird...

Let me begin by saying that I can not wait for Monday to get here! Although this week has gone by at a pretty steady speed, I am beginning to get extremely anxious. I know a while back I said I was torn about wanting to stay in Texas, but as the holiday season approaches, I realize how nice it would be to stay here in Texas and be able to enjoy the holidays with our families. That being said... this Thanksgiving was a weird one for me. Don't get me wrong, it was good and I was so thankful to be with my mom and sister, but it was just a little "off" for me.

This time last year, Kevin had just graduated from boot camp and we had moved to Baltimore. Our first full day in Baltimore was Thanksgiving Day, and it was so memorable! It was our first holiday together as a married couple, and it was such a disaster with the move that we had to hunt for our pots and pans, silverware, and plates...but that was what made it so great. It was just the two of us, in our pajamas, in the freezing cold, eating around boxes. Being together was what made it perfect. This year on the other hand, was the complete opposite. We were separated by 1700 miles and the trip I thought I was going to be able to take the day after had to be postponed, so it wont be another 3 weeks before I get to see him.

Besides missing my husband terribly. I feel like my immediate family is just in a very "weird" place. Lauren, my younger sister has started dating her ex boyfriend Austin again. He left this past August to attend Texas State in San Marcos. He doesn't come home to visit often, but obviously he was home for Thanksgiving. This week started off great. Lauren and I would go and run every morning and she would go to work with me in the afternoon. It was the first time in a long time that we had spent some really quality time together in a long time! Austin came into town Wednesday and everything changed. She has begged, pouted, and been depressed every minute she has been home with us until she gets her way and is able to go hang out with Austin. I understand that she wants that "family" atmosphere, but at the same time she needs to realize that me and my mom are her family! This is what she has to work with for the rest of her life. I guess more than anything my feelings were really hurt... I got ditched for a boy (who has treated her like crap in the past).

Then on the other hand you have my mom. First of all, when Lauren gets upset about seeing Austin my mom loses it, and then eventually gives in. But then Lauren gets to leave, and I am the one here that gets to listen to my mom repeat 15 times that she is just so pissed. But her moods quickly shifts once her cell phone rings. You see... Kelli and I sort of set my mom up! Well...its more like Mr. Vallejo (Kelli's mom's new husband) set them up, but we can take the credit for it. It has gotten to where they talk on the phone for hours every night! And although all I want is for my mom to be happy...it is just WEIRD! I mean she is either on the phone with him, or talking to me about him, or making us clean the house because he is coming to pick her up for a date tomorrow! Like I said, I am so thankful she is happy and enjoys talking to him and I truly do hope that things work out between them, but it gets overwhelming.

I have come to realize that I am a person who does not like change very much. I mean moving and rearranging furniture type of change is fun and exciting, but my day to day life needs to stay consistant, and at this point it is not. I feel so out of place... all I want at this point is to move out. Not that I am miserable and hate it here, but because I feel like I'm left in everyone else's dust. As my Lauren and my mom's lives are moving and pushing forward, and I stuck here in my "dungeon" (that's what I've decided to call my "room", which is really the office with a twin bed shoved in a corner). So sorry my Thanksgiving Day post wasn't upbeat and very thankful, I think I have just been consumed by the weirdness of what I am going through at this point in my life!