In a Matter of Days...

In a matter of days, my life will be changing considerably. I enjoy, and somewhat need change in some aspects of my life- such as where my furniture is placed, the comforter on my bed, and the house I live in(we are a military family... we don't stay anywhere for very long!). But in most aspects of my life, I don't seem to handle change very well. I don't like change to my routine or how I do things day to day.

An example of a change that I am beyond THRILLED about is the fact that this is my last week at the Child Development Center! It has been a great place to work for the past two years, and I have met some great girls working there, but on a personal level, it was time to move on. I have struggled since Kael was born. I was lucky enough to work with him right beside me, but I always wished I could just stay home with him. I also had a difficult time once I received my degree. I felt as though I deserved more. I worked so hard to finish school, and to have a job where I was not using my degree, got under my skin. I found myself constantly looking for other jobs, but anytime I found one I was interested in, my mind flooded with Kael and the thought of not seeing him all day long. I am just not to a point where I am okay to do that yet. Thankfully the perfect opportunity arose, and here we are! Only one week of work left, and I am so excited I could do a happy dance.

An example of a change that I am NOT excited about is the fact that Kael will be turning ONE! I don't know how it is possible. I LOVE the little boy he has turned into, but this is such a huge reminder that he is not a baby anymore. And with that, there are even more changes on the horizon. Weaning him from breastfeeding and bottles. Introducing milk. Getting him hard soled shoes because he is walking everywhere now. Moving into a new car seat. Don't get me wrong. I love watching him grow and change, and he really is becoming so much fun! But I really miss the baby stage. And to be honest, I am really sad about giving up breastfeeding. It's just such a special time between the two of us that will be hard to say goodbye to, especially right before bedtime.

A few other recent changes include the addition of another vehicle to our household. Don't get too excited... it isn't anything special, but boy do I love it! We are now the owners of a 1996 4x4 Tahoe- and it is the best decision we ever made! Sure, it is older... but it runs great, it was paid for in cash, I don't have to take and pick up Kevin from work anymore, and it is 4-wheel drive! And considering snow is STILL in the forecast for the next week, it was the best move we could have done.

This Saturday, March 31st, is Kael's Kodiak birthday party. I can't believe it is already time to celebrate. I'm sure I will have plenty of pictures to post!

Big Changes Going On Over Here!

I know your thinking, "WOAH! An update besides Kael's monthly update..." and you're right. I have gotten to where I completely neglect this blog, but this mamma has no time. I wish it were easier to post an update from phone, then maybe I would post more. That's it... a blogger app! That would be pretty nifty.

Anyway...

There are some major changes going on in our lives right now, that I felt the desire need to share.

1.) Kael is SLEEPING!! WOO HOO!! For two weeks now he has slept all night in his crib. He completely weaned himself off his night time nursing sessions, and typically sleeps 11-12 hours straight. It is pure heaven, and there is no way I will let it go this long with baby #2! There were a few tears shed, and even now he cries a little every night. The biggest difference is now that he is almost a year, I guess I feel like I can handle listening to him cry a little better. Regardless, I go to bed every night missing him. I loved having him so close to me, but did not love getting hit and kicked all night long. He must have been uncomfortable as well, because he seems to sleep much better in his own space. I also miss getting to nurse/rock him to sleep. He has started "fighting" the rocking, and actually does better when we put him in his crib still awake. He does cry, but only for a few minutes, and then puts himself to sleep. I'm hoping the longer we continue this, the less crying there will be, but 5 minutes of crying followed by 12 hours of sleep is SOOO worth it!

2.) We have got ourselves a walker! He pretty much walks all the time now. He can still be wobbly, and fall over, but he just picks himself back up and keeps on trucking. I don't think I have seen him crawl this entire week. I am so proud of him, and LOVE watching him teeter toter across the house all day, but now I know we are in for trouble. My biggest fear is the amount of bumps and bruises that are bound to happen. He has already gotten his first fat lip (that happened at school last week) and I am deathly afraid that he is going to knock a tooth out. Another joy of having a walker... he does not want to be held at all anymore! :( It is a struggle to get him to sit in the cart at the grocery store now, and just wants to be able to walk around the store. Where has my baby gone?!? (check out my facebook to see the latest video of our visit to a store...)

3.) And I have a big change going on in my life as well. Drum roll please..... I put my resignation letter in and my last day of work will be March 30th! It has been pretty rough there for a while, and I have really struggled with my boss and how certain things are handled. After my last "instance" I began looking for something else. I was really torn because I didn't want to keep Kael in daycare if I couldn't be there to keep an eye on him, but knew that I needed to bring home a little bit to help pay for my student loans. Thankfully a girl that works with Kevin just had a baby and was looking for a nanny. We met with one another and I got to meet her daughter (who was 10 weeks old at the time) and she got to meet Kael. I knew instantly that it was exactly what I was looking for. She offered me the job last week, and I get to start once we get back from our trip to Texas.

4.) Ok, this one isn't as exciting, but I'm so anxious I can barely stand it! We only have a year left before we transfer!! YAY!! Kodiak definitely has it's positive and negatives. The biggest negative is being so far from our family and friends. But the good news is, we will put in our list of picks in September and should know where we will be moving in December. Once we know what state we will be living in, I plan to start working towards my alternative teaching certification so I can try and get a teaching position once we move. Anyone that can offer some insight into that process, any information you can provide would be greatly appreciated!

11 Months!

I knew this was coming... the day that I would realize that you aren't really a "baby" anymore. I definitely did not think it would come this soon, but you have grown into such a sweet little boy over this past month, and I have been having mixed emotions about this. The day you turned 11 months, I held you and cried. It's such a wake up call that you will be a year old soon, and although I have loved every minute of watching you grow, it has gone by WAY to fast!

With every passing month, I think to myself that things can't get any better, but somehow they do! You have become so much fun, and we actually get to sit and play with each other. You love playing "chase" with me, dad, and Winston. I actually think you enjoy playing with Winston the most... you laugh hysterically and come around the couch crawling as fast as you can and try to climb into my lap. It makes me laugh every time, and I can't help but melt at the sound of your laughter. Your new favorite toys are the Fisher Price Little People (you walk around with one in your mouth and one in each hand...it's pretty funny).

Speaking of walking... You are walking now!! It is in small bursts, and when you want to go somewhere quick, you drop down to the floor to crawl or get ahold of your walker (I swear you can run with that thing!). You participated in mini-olympics at school this month, and were considered "most athletic". Your favorite event was weight lifting (water bottles full of sand), but you also excelled in the shopping cart relay. :)

We celebrated your first Valentines Day, and you actually had your first Valentine at school. Her name is Abrie, and she is your best friend. She brought you a real gift, packed full of all of your favorite snacks and a card that she signed herself. You took Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Valentines to all of your classmates, and gave Abrie a book and some bubble bath (because what girl doesn't love bubble bath!). She has been out of town for 2 weeks, and you crawl around every day looking for her.

You are an eating machine these days. I am honestly worried you are going to eat us out of house and home when you are a teenager. Some of your favorites are spaghetti, fajitas, rice, bananas, oranges, blueberries, waffles, dry chex cereal, string cheese, and yogurt. You are a master with your sippy cup, and actually drink 2-3 full cups of water a day. You typically nurse 4-5 times a day with one bottle of formula at school. In roughly 2 weeks, we will start introducing cow's milk and start trying to slowly wean you off of bottles/nursing. I think I will have a harder time with it, than you.

Kael Liam, I love you to the moon and back!

Super Late 10 Month Post

The older Kael gets, the harder it seems to find the time to sit and update his monthly milestones. He is into EVERYTHING and I seriously can't sit at the computer while he is awake unless Kevin is home to keep him entertained.

This month Kael moved out of the infant room at daycare, and into the "waddler" room. Technically, it is still considered the infant room, but is separated by a half door, and has the mobile infants that are between 10-16 months old. It is crazy to think, that this summer he will be moving up to the Toddler room... I am definitely not ready for that!

Things have been pretty dull around here. We have had a rough winter, which has kept us cooped up indoors. I can't wait for it to warm up... I know Kael is going to LOVE the little playground in front of our house.

We are still struggling (BIG TIME) with sleep. On a good night, he still wakes up 2-3 times (and that is with him sleeping in our bed). I feel so defeated, and don't know what to do anymore. I try not feeding him to break the habit, but he then wakes up EVERY hour until he is finally fed. I really could break down and cry when I really think about it. I am so sleep deprived and feel like I am barely able to function. Kevin and I have yet to go on a date (other than his Christmas party) since Kael was born, knowing that he wont sleep, making it hard on a babysitter, and hard on ourselves for staying up late. It is to the point where I really wish there was some sort of specialist you could take babies to that would just solve their sleeping issues. Any insight would be greatly appreciated! We have tried EVERYTHING and letting him cry only seems to cause more problems.

Other than that, my sweet little boy is perfect (in my eyes!) :)

He is...

1.) weighing in at 19 pounds

2.) wearing 12 month clothes and size 3 diapers

3.) still breastfeeding, with one formula bottle at daycare

4.) eating strictly table food, and eats everything we eat...he isn't picky at all!

5.) standing unsupported for brief amounts of time

6.) up to 3 teeth! :)

7.) very very vocal! He favors "dada" but is constantly making some sort of sound/talking. I can't figure out what he is trying to say, but there is a lot of dooo's and nanana's

8.) And lastly... he is Mr. Personality! There is not a day that goes by that he does not crack me up. I love watching him play, and figure things out. He is so funny, and so smart. Thankfully I think he got the best of both Kevin and I.

Lastly, I have started planning his birthday party, which is a total wake up call. Thanks to Pinterest, I now feel as though anything store bought, just can't be good enough for my sweet baby boy, so I must attempt to make it all (and then figure out how to ship it down to Texas). We are actually having two parties for him, one in Alaska and one in Texas. Obviously the Texas one will be much bigger, and I feel as if an event planner might be necessary (not really, but it is going to be THAT big). Oh! And we have decided the theme will be "pirate" since his party will be at South Padre Island.

Happy 10 months sweet boy! You have made my life so much better, and remind me each and every day just how good life is! :)

A Month of Recaps (9 Month Update)

Whew... what a whirlwind it has been! It seems as though it has been nonstop since Christmas. As you know, we spend Christmas morning in the ER. We soon found out that Kael had hand, foot, and mouth disease- which was spread throughout the entire daycare. I eventually ended up catching it myself (New Years Eve), so our holidays were spent with high fevers and itchy red bumps. Thankfully everything cleared up in time for our trip to Texas and Florida.

We spent roughly 2 weeks of January on a much needed vacation. We enjoyed a week in Texas, which was really too short. We spent 3 days with Kevin's family and 3 days with mine. Since my parents are divorced, it really makes things seem even shorter since we had to split up those 3 days. I was fortunate enough to see a good majority of relatives on both Kevin's side of the family and my own. I even got to see my three best friends in the entire world- Eli, Kelli, and Paige. It was by far not enough time with any of them, and these trips just make me desperate to get back to Texas.

After our week in Texas, we took our first ever family "vacation". A real, live vacation that wasn't going home to visit family. Kevin and I have never taken a real vacation since we have been married, including a honeymoon. We have traveled and seen a lot, but most has been during our moves. We stayed at the All Star Movie Resort at Walt Disney World for 5 nights, and enjoyed the park for 4 days. It was heaven. I am absolutely obsessed with all things Disney (I fall asleep watching the Disney Chanel), so Kevin kept saying the trip was more for me than Kael! I think all three of us enjoyed it equally, but I was definitely more enthusiastic about it. Kael was in heaven. He loved the loud music and colors of the parades, he wanted to hug and kiss every character, and surprisingly we were able to take him on almost every ride! I will do a whole separate post on our trip, but we haven't even been home 2 weeks and I am already wishing we were going back. If we don't get to move to Texas next summer, I am seriously pushing Florida so I can go to Disney every weekend!

This month I was also a slacker on Kael's 9 month post. And this actually breaks my heart, because here I am... a month later and I can not for the life of me tell you what all happened. I know we celebrated his first Christmas, so I am thankful that I managed to get that post written. So much seems to happen and change in a month, and documenting it is SO important because you don't realize how quickly you forget. Looking back at the month of December there are a few key things that seem to pop out in my mind.

1.) We left him with a sitter for the first time.

2.) He weighed in at roughly 18 pounds 8 ounces

3.) He is wearing 9 month clothes and size 3 diapers

4.) He is still breastfeeding, and substituting one bottle a day of formula

5.) He is getting fed up with baby food and we are starting to introduce more table food

6.) He is cruising along the furniture

7.) He got his first tooth (FINALLY!)

8.) We are still struggling with his sleep and he has actually moved into our bed (I know I know...)

What I can remember is the love that I feel for this little boy. It seems to grow with every passing month, and I don't know how that is even possible. He finds new ways every day to make me smile and want to just scoop him up and love and kiss on him all day long. He makes even the worst days better. He gives me hope. He makes me strive to be a better person. He is my world, and I can't imagine what my life would be like without him in it.

Christmas 2011

Forgive me for being a little late with this post, but we have been fighting the virus forefront for the past week, and things are finally beginning to go back to normal.

This was our second Christmas in Alaska and away from family. Our first was tough. REALLY tough. I think I cried most of the day. It just didn't seem natural to be so "alone" when I am used to being surrounded by 12 aunts/uncles and 20+ cousins and second cousins. I come from a large family, my dad is one of seven, so our holiday get togethers are massive... and I LOVE it! I honestly wouldn't know how else to celebrate other than surrounded by lots and lots of people. Kevin's family is pretty similar. We love it... the noise, the laughter, the food, the mess, everything. And I miss is terribly being up here. Christmas in 2010 was just Kevin and I. We had one friend come over for our Christmas dinner and that was it. I was a pregnant, hormonal mess and couldn't wait for the day to be over because I was so heartbroken.

This year was completely different. We had Kael. Although we were still thousands of miles away from our families large and loud get togethers, we knew that being home and letting Kael crawl out of his bed (ok... OUR bed) Christmas morning would be priceless. (plus the tickets to fly home were about $1,000/person cheaper if we waited to go home in January). We it was decided... we would make the most out of our 2nd annual Alaska Christmas because we had to, for the sake of Kael, whether he would remember it or not.

We really put alot of thought into what traditions we wanted to start as a family. We have both always put up our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving, so that one was a given. We both have pretty bad allergies, and having two male dogs who like to pee on things, we have avoided live trees, and stuck with our puny fake tree (which I'm hoping to replace next year). We were determined to find a beautiful tree topper that we would use every year, but that never happened. We also wanted to find a really special tree skirt- one that I could pass down. After searching high and low, we found it... and it didn't come from a store. It came from my dad's sewing machine. I love everything about it, but most of all, the fact that it was handmade by my dad- Kael's Papa. It makes it that much more meaningful. We also found a really cute shop in town that had a variety of unique ornaments. We have decided that every year we will go out and each of us will get to pick a new ornament. In addition to that, we will go to a local bookstore and find a Christmas book that we can read throughout the holiday season. I also made handmade ornaments with Kael, which turned out really special and we will do every year. I made some with his handprints, and some I cut out using cookie cutters and let him finger paint.

The festivities started Christmas Eve. We had roughly 12 people over for dinner and drinks on Christmas Eve. Only one other family had kids, but they go to day care with Kael and so the 3 boys had a blast playing with each other all night. The adults enjoyed standing around talking and eating our mexican inspired dinner. We both have always had tamales for Christmas Eve growing up and it seems impossible to find them here. We finally found someone who makes them, but was going to charge $25/dozen and there was just no way we were going to pay that. So instead we had chicken and beef fajitas, beans, and rice. Kevin made his grandmothers sand tarts and I made sopapilla cheesecake. We also had my homemade salsa and queso. At about 9 everyone left, and we started getting ready for bed. That included opening one present- our new Christmas pajamas (which I had already washed because I couldn't stand the thought of scratchy pajamas).

As we put Kael into his new pajamas I realized he was feeling a little warm. I took him temperature and it was 101. We gave him Motrin and hoped for the best... 3am he woke and was still at 101. I gave him another dose of Motrin and we were back to bed. And then 5am rolled around and he was on fire! I took his temp and he was 102.5. I panicked... we had received a call Saturday morning that a baby in his class had been diagnosed with Chicken Pox. So we all bundled up and headed to the ER. The good thing about small towns is you don't have to wait. We got right in, and they started checking him out. He was not himself... my heart hurt. I wanted him to feel better, I wanted to fix it, but I couldn't. They told us he had an ear infection, gave us some medication, and sent us on our way.

He fell asleep on the way home and we decided we would wait until later in the afternoon to try and do presents. As we pulled up to our house, he woke up and started crying. I knew he was uncomfortable and just wanted to get him inside and cuddle with him. As we walked through the living room towards the bedroom, we passed the Christmas tree and all the gifts Santa had left. He did a double take as we walked by, stopped crying, and his eyes lit up. I put him on the floor and he started crawling towards his new dino walker. He was acting like he felt perfectly fine! So we sat and opened gifts. He loved ripping the paper and eating the bows.

All of the action must have worn him out, because soon after we finished, he was passed out. He was still running a fever and not feeling 100% the rest of the day. We all ended up taking a 3 hour nap that afternoon. Once we got up, we realized it was time to kick things into high gear to get ready for dinner. We had 4 friends over that night for dinner. Kael was not feeling good at all, and was pretty fussy and clingy. It broke my heart to see him like that.

Although it wasn't my picture perfect "Baby's First Christmas" I had envisioned, it is definitely one that I will never forget. And there is always next year...

(I swear... internet in Kodiak sucks! It wont let me upload any pictures, but I will try again tomorrow)

8 Months Old!

As I sit in my quite living room while Kael is asleep (for now...), I can't help but look through all of our pictures. I seem to do this on the 3rd of every month. It always blows me away how much he has changed since the previous month, and then I jump back to when he was first born or only 2-3 months old and he seems SO different.

This month seemed to go by way too fast. I tried to prepare myself for this... the holiday season. I knew that it would fly by, especially knowing that it will be his first Thanksgiving and Christmas. The holidays always go by too quickly, and now that we are getting to share them with this little guy, it seems as though I can't keep up!

This month I am beginning to realize that I am going to seriously have my hands full with this one. Kael is such a busy body. He doesn't like to sit still, and is learning how to get into everything. He is now able to walk along the couch, the shelves, entertainment center, end tables, and basically anything that he can reach. He will take a few steps with his walker, but for the most part, he would rather sit and play with the buttons that play music. His new past time is opening the cabinets to the entertainment center and pulling every single one of Kevin's video games out (at least they aren't my Wii games!).

Other milestones/facts about Kael this month include:

• We are starting to offer some table foods. So far he tried (and actually eaten) bagels with cream cheese, french toast (no syrup), bran muffins, biscuits, nutragrain bars (he stole a bite of mine one morning, and now begs for it whenever I have one), string cheese, crackers, noodles, and guacamole. Most of this, he tries at daycare. We use a USDA food program there, and provide breakfast, lunch, and a snack for every child. We offer the table food to the babies once they are 10 months old, but he has had such an interest in what we are eating that I have starting letting him try pretty much whatever we are eating. Something he likes, and somethings he spits out right away.
• He still has ZERO teeth! The past two weeks have been rough and I have been swearing up and down that I feel a tooth RIGHT there, but it still hasn't come, so I'm beginning to think I'm making it up.
• I'm not sure what his weight is, but he seems as though he is just getting taller and taller. He has really thinned out, and has been keeping pretty steady with his clothes (thank goodness!). He is still in 9 month clothes and size 3 diapers, but I am thinking we will be making the switch to 12 month clothes pretty soon.
• We are still breastfeeding. I have been supplementing a bottle of formula a day, but mainly because I have become so frustrated with the whole pumping process and the stress of having enough to give him a bottle at daycare. He used to refuse the formula and I would have to mix it with 2-3 ounces of breast milk, but now he has no problems with it. I have good and bad feelings about this. I'm glad that we have that option since I pretty much don't have any stored milk anymore, but at the same time it breaks my heart knowing that he could make the switch to all formula and would probably be just fine. I'm not ready to give it up, and don't feel the need to. I am thankful to know that while we are on vacation next month, I will have the option of giving him a bottle of formula if we are in a situation that would make it difficult to breastfeed.
• We are still having MAJOR issues on the sleep front. He has pretty much moved into our bed, where I nurse him roughly 3 times in the middle of the night since it seems to be the only thing that will get him back to sleep. I know this is going to come back and bite me in the butt, but I am so desperate for sleep at this point, I can't think straight! Last night he was up every hour! We are trying to slowly move him back into his own space, starting by putting him to sleep in his pack n play in our room. At this point, he is typically going to bed around 7:30-8:00 and waking around 12, 3, 6, and waking for good around 7-7:30. I thought things were supposed to get better as they get older, but boy was I wrong!
• Kael has developed full blown stranger and separation anxiety, which both put a lot of stress on me. At work it is especially difficult. He loves the teachers he is with every day, but if someone is out and a new person comes in, he freaks out and cries the entire time. He is the same way when it comes to me. If I leave the room while he is playing, once he looks up and sees that I am not in there, he loses it, and starts frantically crawling around trying to find me. It makes me feel loved, but makes it so hard to get anything done!
• He had his second haircut this month and they actually used the trimmers! They took his little sideburns off, which he has had since he was born. I shed a few tears, but overall, they did a good job. He had gotten to where he just couldn't see. I'm still not sure how I will have them cut it once he turns one, but I don't think I can handle a "real" haircut, where he would look like Kevin. I need some hair to run my fingers through!
• He is a big fan of the 3 B's- Bubbles, Balls, and Books. After looking through countless ads and commercials trying to find the best toys to get him for Christmas, I've come to realize that he would be perfectly content with a pile of board books that he can sit and flip through the pages of. He also likes to try and eat them, but we are working on that.

I could probably go on and on about all of the fun things that we did this month as well, but considering he has been sleeping for an hour, I am going to go and relax and enjoy some quite time before all hell breaks loose tonight!