Preperation

Well, the past couple of days have been a roller coaster of emotion. I am feeling less mad (Sorry God!) and slowly more at peace. I know what is coming, and so I am beginning to prepare myself for the emotional and physical hardships. Yesterday Kevin and I went to Walmart with our list of items that we needed. As we walked down the aisle of laundry detergent, we came across the "feminine products". It was then that I realized I had thrown out the remainder of mine when I found out I was pregnant, and I would soon be needing them again. As I placed the box into our basket I found it much easier than what I was expecting. Don't get me wrong, I am sure that when I have my appointment this week with the radiologist and they confirm I will be losing my baby, I will have a melt down. But like I said, I am more at "peace" or at least I have just become numb to the thought of what is happening inside my body. I am to the point where I want this to be over with so I cna try to forget about it and move on and try again.

But for the most part, I have been okay. Saturday was Kevin's 26th birthday! We didn't do anything very exciting, we had lunch at my favorite place (Chili's) and then played with Kevin's birthday present (the AeroSmith Guitar Hero)...boys just never seem to grow up! That night we opted for staying at home and having that time with eachother. We had a movie marathon and fried chicken (Kevin LOVES Popeyes for some reason...) It was a very uneventful day, but Kevin loved it... I think he was trying to avoid the fact that he is getting older! We have been able to live life and laugh. It hasn't been miserable every minute of every day. We are coping with it the best we can, and still looking for the positive in all of this. So far here is our list of positives... (1.) When we do get pregnant again, Kevin will be home for it, and not at school for 4 1/2 months (2.) We wont be moving when I am 9 months pregnant (3.) I will be able to go to Kevin's graduation in California in March (4.) We will have more time to get things paid off, and be a little more "financially" ready (5.)When we do get pregnant with a healthy baby it will make it that much more special (and this is the most positive thought of them all!)

Besides all of our disappointment, there is a very exciting event coming up...We will be moving!! Well actually, Kevin will be going to school in California, and I will be staying with my mom in Texas, but we are getting out of Maryland! YAY!! We will be leaving October 9th, so the countdown has begun (17 more days!) We have our pre move-out inspection on wednesday, so I will be packing and cleaning like crazy the next two days. We will be putting our stuff in a storage unit up here beginning October 1st, so we can do it a little at a time for about a week. It is becoming more and more real that this is going to be happening VERY soon, and it can not come fast enough! With everything that is going on, being close to family and friends is the best thing I could ever wish for. It is going to be really tough being away from Kevin for that long (4 1/2 months!) but he will be able to come home for 2 weeks at Christmas and I am planning on going to visit a few times too. He will be in Petaluma, CA which is about 30 miles north of San Fransico and appears to be very close to Napa Valley and the Redwood Forests. Neither of us have been to CA before, so I know Kevin is extremely excited, and I can't wait to go visit.

So here is the schedule for this week, and I will be posting again soon.
Running around town today, cleaning like crazy tomorrow, pre move-out inspection on wednesday, radiologist on thursday (please keep us in your prayers this day), and rest on friday