8 Months Old!

As I sit in my quite living room while Kael is asleep (for now...), I can't help but look through all of our pictures. I seem to do this on the 3rd of every month. It always blows me away how much he has changed since the previous month, and then I jump back to when he was first born or only 2-3 months old and he seems SO different.

This month seemed to go by way too fast. I tried to prepare myself for this... the holiday season. I knew that it would fly by, especially knowing that it will be his first Thanksgiving and Christmas. The holidays always go by too quickly, and now that we are getting to share them with this little guy, it seems as though I can't keep up!

This month I am beginning to realize that I am going to seriously have my hands full with this one. Kael is such a busy body. He doesn't like to sit still, and is learning how to get into everything. He is now able to walk along the couch, the shelves, entertainment center, end tables, and basically anything that he can reach. He will take a few steps with his walker, but for the most part, he would rather sit and play with the buttons that play music. His new past time is opening the cabinets to the entertainment center and pulling every single one of Kevin's video games out (at least they aren't my Wii games!).

Other milestones/facts about Kael this month include:

• We are starting to offer some table foods. So far he tried (and actually eaten) bagels with cream cheese, french toast (no syrup), bran muffins, biscuits, nutragrain bars (he stole a bite of mine one morning, and now begs for it whenever I have one), string cheese, crackers, noodles, and guacamole. Most of this, he tries at daycare. We use a USDA food program there, and provide breakfast, lunch, and a snack for every child. We offer the table food to the babies once they are 10 months old, but he has had such an interest in what we are eating that I have starting letting him try pretty much whatever we are eating. Something he likes, and somethings he spits out right away.
• He still has ZERO teeth! The past two weeks have been rough and I have been swearing up and down that I feel a tooth RIGHT there, but it still hasn't come, so I'm beginning to think I'm making it up.
• I'm not sure what his weight is, but he seems as though he is just getting taller and taller. He has really thinned out, and has been keeping pretty steady with his clothes (thank goodness!). He is still in 9 month clothes and size 3 diapers, but I am thinking we will be making the switch to 12 month clothes pretty soon.
• We are still breastfeeding. I have been supplementing a bottle of formula a day, but mainly because I have become so frustrated with the whole pumping process and the stress of having enough to give him a bottle at daycare. He used to refuse the formula and I would have to mix it with 2-3 ounces of breast milk, but now he has no problems with it. I have good and bad feelings about this. I'm glad that we have that option since I pretty much don't have any stored milk anymore, but at the same time it breaks my heart knowing that he could make the switch to all formula and would probably be just fine. I'm not ready to give it up, and don't feel the need to. I am thankful to know that while we are on vacation next month, I will have the option of giving him a bottle of formula if we are in a situation that would make it difficult to breastfeed.
• We are still having MAJOR issues on the sleep front. He has pretty much moved into our bed, where I nurse him roughly 3 times in the middle of the night since it seems to be the only thing that will get him back to sleep. I know this is going to come back and bite me in the butt, but I am so desperate for sleep at this point, I can't think straight! Last night he was up every hour! We are trying to slowly move him back into his own space, starting by putting him to sleep in his pack n play in our room. At this point, he is typically going to bed around 7:30-8:00 and waking around 12, 3, 6, and waking for good around 7-7:30. I thought things were supposed to get better as they get older, but boy was I wrong!
• Kael has developed full blown stranger and separation anxiety, which both put a lot of stress on me. At work it is especially difficult. He loves the teachers he is with every day, but if someone is out and a new person comes in, he freaks out and cries the entire time. He is the same way when it comes to me. If I leave the room while he is playing, once he looks up and sees that I am not in there, he loses it, and starts frantically crawling around trying to find me. It makes me feel loved, but makes it so hard to get anything done!
• He had his second haircut this month and they actually used the trimmers! They took his little sideburns off, which he has had since he was born. I shed a few tears, but overall, they did a good job. He had gotten to where he just couldn't see. I'm still not sure how I will have them cut it once he turns one, but I don't think I can handle a "real" haircut, where he would look like Kevin. I need some hair to run my fingers through!
• He is a big fan of the 3 B's- Bubbles, Balls, and Books. After looking through countless ads and commercials trying to find the best toys to get him for Christmas, I've come to realize that he would be perfectly content with a pile of board books that he can sit and flip through the pages of. He also likes to try and eat them, but we are working on that.

I could probably go on and on about all of the fun things that we did this month as well, but considering he has been sleeping for an hour, I am going to go and relax and enjoy some quite time before all hell breaks loose tonight!

So Much to be Thankful For...

Wow! Thanksgiving came and went in a blink of an eye! We had a great day, hosting Thanksgiving at our house, celebrating Kael's first turkey day, plotting our black friday routes, and enjoying a 4 day weekend. Sadly, I must admit... I felt as if I didn't get to fully enjoy the day as much as I was hoping for. I was cooking or cleaning from sun up to sun down (well, even longer since we only getting about 6 hours of sunlight right now). Thankfully, we have definitely set some new traditions, including a few recipes that were to die for! I also learned my lesson, and now know better for Christmas.

So since the hustle and bustle of Thanksgiving has passed, I am finally finding the time to sit and write. I have so much to be thankful for this year, it is overwhelming. More than ever, I am taking a step back and looking at the little things. The things that I take for granted everyday, and the things that I complain about the most. In this holiday season I am always reminded of those who are less fortunate, and it always helps to keep me grounded.

So here we go, my "list" of all the wonderful things in my life!

• First of all, I am thankful for living in Kodiak. Although it has been a huge adjustment and I feel like I hate it at times, it is where Kevin and I have been the most successful- financially, fertility wise, my employment, and Kevin's advancements. This place has been good for us, and even though we can't wait to be close to family again, this has brought 'our' family closer than ever.
• I am thankful for our health. Something so simple, yet so life altering.
• I am thankful for our beautiful baby boy. And more importantly- his health as well.
• I am thankful for our tiny 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment. It may not be ideal, but we have a roof over our head, beds to sleeps on, and food at our table.
• I am thankful for our 2005 Pacifica that we bought used and are still making payments on. It may not be fancy or new, but we have a reliable family car that gets us to where we need to go.
• I am thankful for our jobs. There might me times where we wish we made more, but in times like these, we are lucky to have a job at all.
• I am thankful for our student loan payments. As much as they suck us dry every month, they are a constant reminder that we have our education- and that is something that can never be taken away.
• I'm thankful for technology. Even though we live thousands of miles away, technology makes it possible to see our family face to face during the holidays (and every other day as well!)
• I'm thankful for amazing friends, far and near. The kind that you can not talk to for weeks or months, but once you are able to finally catch up, you don't even miss a beat!
• And of coarse, I am thankful for my wonderful husband and perfect son. I can't imagine life without them!

I hope everyone is enjoying this holiday season, had a great Thanksgiving, and have a very Merry Christmas!

7 Months (only 2 weeks late...)

Wow... I have been working on this post for TWO weeks now. It has been sitting in my edit folder for days, and every time I sit down to finish, I find something else that seems to need my attention right away. But here you go (finally!)

It is getting harder and harder to get a good picture of him...He just wont sit still!

Where is the time going? It sounds so weird to say that Kael is 7 months old. It just doesn't seem real... how is it possible? It feels like just yesterday I was feeling him move in my belly, and now I am chasing him around the house!

This past month has honestly been the most fun we have had so far. He is getting to that age where he is just FUN. He has such a big personality, and I love getting to see him shine through. We did a lot to take in and enjoy Fall (since November typically brings snow in Alaska), and to prepare for his first Halloween.

This past month has been a HUGE one developmentally, but more than anything, he is recognizing the people around him. We dealt with a little bout of stranger anxiety and are still dealing with separation anxiety (he wants mom ALL.THE.TIME.) He is very aware of the people around him, and it takes him a while to warm up to new ones. He loves his teachers and greets them every morning with a huge smile. They really are like extended family, and I'm so thankful for those girls (they are some of the best friends I have here). He is close with them, and loves sitting in their laps to read books or to just get a little extra attention. He knows who his mommy and daddy are, and gets VERY excited to see either of us. The best feeling in the entire world is walking into the house after leaving him with Kevin, and him crawling up to me as fast as he can, laughing the entire way. He is genuinely excited to see us when we have been gone, and gives the best hugs and kisses once he is picked up.

A few random tidbits on eating:

*He is still breastfeeding, and I'm pretty sure we will stick it out the entire first year. There are days I want to throw in the towel because it dictates my schedule so much, and I keep thinking about our vacation in January, but I know those are selfish reasons, and could never give it up for that.

*He has ZERO teeth

*He is eating like a champ. He has tried chicken and turkey purees (mixed with veggies), and really likes it. He is also feeding himself. We started with mum-mums, which to this day are his favorite. He also feeds himself puffs and yogurt drops, and really enjoys those as well!

He has mastered crawling, and is ALL OVER the place now! I thought we had the house baby proofed, but boy was I wrong! I have had to say so long to my candles, a good amount of picture frames, and all my nice knick knacks around the house. We have tried to hide every cord imaginable and besides vacuuming every night, I am having to stay on top of sweeping/mopping and now dusting (since his little hands and mouth are on every piece of furniture we own). And as if the crawling didn't keep us busy enough, he has now masted pulling up to stand AND getting down. He seems to enjoy teething on our entertainment center and end tables as well...

Kael had his first school picture day this month as well. Kevin had been in Anchorage for a training, and was able to stop by a mall and pick up a few things for Kael. I actually gave him the freedom to pick out Kael's picture day outfit! :) The picture came out pretty funny (he was pretty confused by the whole process, did a little crying, and would not smile) so we did a mini photo shoot at home (it wasn't much better).

He had his first trip to the park in our beautiful Alaska fall weather.

And we enjoyed lots more time outside while the weather was still nice. We also had lots of fun with pumpkins!

We enjoyed his first Halloween this month as well. First, he participated in a costume parade at school, where he got to show off his lobster costume (thank you Nana and Popdaddy). After school, we stopped by the gym to check out the CDC party which included a bounce house and some other fun stuff that was just a little too big for him. We went home and changed into our warm Superman costume, and walked around the neighborhood with two other families for trick or treating. He didn't last too long, he was ready for bed and it was pretty chilly, but overall it was a great experience. Sadly, Kevin had to work that day so he missed out on it all. The joys of being a military family...

We also had his 6 month photo shoot the day he turned 7 months. We had some scheduling issues, thanks to Kevin's schedule (surprise surprise!) but regardless, I am so excited to see them. I have only seen one picture so far, but I know they are going to be amazing. I'm hoping to get them all right before Thanksgiving. He was such a handful, considering he doesn't sit in one spot for longer than about 2 seconds, but Amy Earle with Simply B Photos never fails to amaze me with her talent and patience!

Look at that cute naked body!! :)

Forgot What That Felt Like...

Today Kael is 7 months old. I should be working on his update, but I really just don't have the energy to upload a bunch of pictures and sound sentimental and excited about him growing up. The truth is, I wish he would stop growing so fast. It makes me sad. I feel like I never fully got to enjoy the "baby" stages because he blew right through them. But most of all, I am TIRED. This boy does not sleep anymore and it is killing me. I have to struggle to stay away when I'm at work, and I cringe the close it gets to bedtime because I know that no matter how hard I pray, I will still be getting up every 2 hours.

But the real reason I am writing this post is because I experienced a feeling- an emotion if you will, that I haven't felt in a REALLY long time.

WARNING: this is a little TMI

After trying to have a baby for so long, it has really been pretty weird to try and prevent from having another one. I'm not on birth control because I have never been, and just don't want to open up that can of hormonal worms. We have really been careful, but there was one night where we slipped. We let our "emotions" get the best of ourselves and didn't use our best judgement. Of coarse, we immediately regretted it, and I have since then been convinced that I would somehow, by some sort of ironic miracle, get pregnant.

For the past two weeks I have been calculating in my head how old Kael would be, how we would make it work in our 2 bedroom house, what we would name it if it was another boy, etc. I really would feel pretty sick thinking about having another one so close in age. I know I want more kids, but I feel like if I were to get pregnant now, I would be taking away so much from Kael and in a way, forcing him to grow up. I want to cherish this time with him, and I would like to be able to sleep through the night for a while before giving those up again.

Well, today my period decided to arrive. Right on track. And my first thought was, THANK GOD! And then I thought... WOAH! I can't remember the last time I felt that way. I remember constantly thinking "Damn You!" whenever I got my period, and now I am rejoicing. It is so bittersweet. It makes me wonder if it will take us as long to get pregnant the second time, or if my first pregnancy has somehow "fixed" whatever problem we faced before.

Any who... I will get to Kael's update, more than likely this weekend. We had his 6 month (even though he is technically 7 months) photo shoot tonight, and I am so excited to see how the pictures turned out! I got to see a few right on her camera and was breathless.

Chronicles of a Sleep Deprived Mom (Overview)

I realize I never finished my "series" on our attempts at getting Kael to sleep through the night by letting him cry it out (CIO). The funny thing is, once I am not so sleep deprived, I find myself much more willing to get things done around the house, leaving me with less time to fart around on the computer (which ends up in blogging).

But here we are again...

For a brief summary, the CIO method seemed to work pretty well for us. By the third night, he was sleeping straight through from 7pm-5am, wake to nurse, and go back to sleep until 7am. And I was perfectly okay with that. I figured 10 hours, being breastfed, was a good run for my money.

And then Kael learned to pull himself up to stand ::sigh::

And we are right back to square one. No sleep. And now I have no clue how to let him CIO when he is standing in his crib. He doesn't know how to get down, and seems to panic when he realizes this. His cries have turned into screams which are just heart wrenching. I am seriously at a loss at this point.

I feel like I am waving the white flag and admitting my defeat. I feel like I am going to just have to suck it up and deal with this until he turns one and is off bottles. And this thought makes me want to break down and cry! I am exhausted. Physically and mentally. I know I am not functioning at full capacity, but there is nothing I can do about it. I have lost all focus on my weight loss and running. I can feel myself slipping, and I hate it.

Any suggestions out there would be greatly appreciated! I don't know what to do anymore...

Chronicles of a Sleep Deprived Mom (Night 3)

Night 3-Sunday:

Well, I was really hoping Night 3 would be our magical night that would consist of no wakings at all, but no such luck. Don't get me wrong... it was still MUCH better than the hell we had been experiencing before, but I am learning that this little guy is pretty hard headed.

He went down at his normal time (7pm), and made it until 3:30. When I heard him through the monitor and saw what time it was, I figured he had made more progress and we were still headed in the right track. But the crying continued... and continued.... and continued. He would start of strong and loud, get softer, and eventually fade into silence. Right would I would think he was asleep, it would start over again. I knew he was tired, but he was seriously fighting it. I went in and patted after 5, 10, 15 minutes. He was still going strong, and he seemed to grow more upset each time I went in- so I stopped. I sat in bed and listened to the monitor. Eventually after an hour passed I caved. I went in and fed him around 4:30. He was asleep when I laid him back down and he slept until 6:30.

It was definitely much tougher than the night before, but I'm hoping with the longer he stretches his sleep out, he will eventually get to a total of 9-10 hours with no wakings at all. I can work with that for a while until we can eventually work up to dropping that early morning feeding.

His naps have somewhat reverted to their old selves.

Sunday he had 2 naps that were each an hour long. Still an improvement, but his second nap was pretty early, so he was a grump around 5pm.

Monday naps were not so good (after our tough night). He took 3 naps. His first was 30 minutes, his second an hour and 15 minutes, and his third 20 minutes.

We are still working on the whole napping thing, and I am really nervous to see how it goes tomorrow at day care (he has a really though time napping with loud noises around him).

Chronicles of a Sleep Deprived Mom (Night 2)

I was a little nervous coming into night two. I don't know why... maybe because the first night wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I think deep down inside I thought his shots were what helped him sleep better (or at least fall back to sleep rather quickly).

So we followed our same schedule. I considered letting him take a 30 minute cat nap from around 5:30 to try and stretch him out so he wouldn't go to bed until 8, but he was fighting it, and I thought, don't mess with something that is working.

So here is how night two went...

Night Two- Saturday:

• Nursed Kael at 7 pm, and he fell asleep. I put him in his crib, and he stayed asleep.
• He woke once when Winston barked around 8:15, whinned a little, and went right back to sleep
• Slept until 1:30, I heard him whinning and tossing a little through the monitor and then he was back to sleep. I didn't even get out of bed to check on him (bad mom!)
• At 4:30 he started whinning, and then it stopped. A few minutes later he began to cry. Then it stopped. I went to check on him and I could see his arms and legs up in the air, so I went back to my room to listen to the monitor. He had little bursts of crying for about 30 minutes. The crying was only a few seconds, and then would stop.
• At 5, I finally caved and decided I would feed him again. At this point he was crying hard, and it was a cry I had never heard before. When I went to pick him up, I realized it must have been his "I'm uncomfortable" cry because he was soaking wet! From his shoulder to his foot, he was drenched in pee (how that happened... I have NO clue!) His blanket and sheet were wet as well.
• I changed him (not saying a word and keeping the lights off) and then nursed him. Since his sheets needed to be changed, I went ahead and took him into my room and laid him in the pack n play. He was still awake, and without any crying, eventually went back to sleep (not sure when since he didn't make a single noise).
• I woke to him "talking" to himself this morning at 7:30. He was in a great mood and gave me his famous smile as soon as he saw me peek over the side of the pack n play. I pulled him into bed with me and we cuddled until dad got home, and then all 3 of us snuggled until 8.

I know I am probably setting myself up for disaster by feeding him at 5 both mornings, but I figured we would work at that when the time comes. I would rather work on getting rid of the frequent night wakings and feedings (he was getting fed 2-3 time a night). Once he is sleeping entirely through the night, then we will work on weening him off of the 5 am feeding.

It seemed like there was a big improvement from the first and second night, so I am anxious to see how tonight goes. I am hoping he will drop all night wakings, with the exception of around 4:30-5 (I'm anticipating that one to stick around).

We will see how naps go today as well. I'll keep you posted!

The Chronicles of a Sleep Deprived Mom (Background and Night 1)

Ok sorry... I had to start off with a super cute picture. I wasn't able to upload any on my 6 month update, so here it is! Plus, even with all the frustration and misery I have been feeling lately, when I see that little face in the morning, it reminds me that I would do anything for that little guy!

So in my last post I sort of touched base on the sleep issues we have been facing. It really seemed to come out of nowhere. Well, I take that back. Once he figured out how to roll over in his sleep, the sleep seemed to stop. I immediately thought he must have had an ear infection, but we took him in, and his ears looked fine. I tried to blame it on teething, but teeth still have not appeared, and it has been well over a month. So here we are... totally sleepless. Which isn't a good look on any of us. It results in a cranky baby, a pissy mommy, and a lot of arguing between mommy and daddy.

I thought I couldn't handle the whole cry it out (CIO) method, so I bought a book that was a much gentler approach and really emphasized loving on your baby, rocking them, nursing, etc. I thought it would be perfect. But basically they said let the baby run the show... I was already doing everything they said to do, and was waking at minimum every 2 hours at night. I ditched that book REAL fast!

I downloaded a sample of Ferber's book on iBooks, and read the first 2 chapters. I decided it would be worth a shot, and was planning on buying it Friday. We had Kael's 6 month well check appointment that afternoon, and after talking to the doctor, I decided to not even buy the book. I would use what I could find online, and the doctor's recommendation (use earplugs and let him cry).

So my plan was this:

1. I would still nurse him at bedtime. If he fell asleep, okay. If not, I would lay him down in his crib once he finished and was drowsy.
2. I wasn't going to just let him cry and not go in and check on him. This is where Ferber stepped in and I used his gradual approach. I would let him cry for 3 minutes, then go and check on him. Then wait 5 minutes before checking on him again, and then 10 minutes. Never taking him out of the crib, or talking to him. Just patting his back and telling him "shhhh".
3. I also wasn't sure how long he could go without nursing. In the past, 9 hours was the longest he had gone without eating. I also knew that I was throwing in weening with the CIO, so I was expecting the absolute worst. I told myself that I would give him 10 hours and then I would feed him since that was an improvement from his previous 9 hours.
4. I wanted to stick with our normal bedtime routine as much as possible. It is typically like this: dinner at 6, bath at 6:30, read a book or two, and then nurse around 6:45 and he is asleep by 7

So here we go...

Night One-Friday:

• We followed our typical bedtime routine. Kael nursed and was asleep by 7 pm. When I went to lay him in his crib, he woke up. I kissed him, told him I loved him and good night, and left him.
• He rolled around and played for 20 minutes. At 7:21 he began to cry. I waited 3 minutes, went and patted his back, and left. Went back in after 5 minutes, and again after 10. Right around the 20 minute mark, he fell asleep.
• He slept for a solid 4 hours, and then woke at 12, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, and 5:30
• Thankfully each waking consisted of 3-4 minutes of crying and then he was right back to sleep
• When he woke at 5:30, I decided to go ahead and feed him. He was still slightly awake when I laid him back down. He whined a little, and then was right back to sleep.
• He woke at 8:30am fussing, which is not normal. Typically he wakes up in a very good mood. When I went to pick him up, I realized he had peed through his diaper, pajamas, and sheet (hence the fussing...). Once he was changed, he was back to him normal happy self.
• The biggest shock of all came at nap time. He actually took two 1.5 hour long naps. His normal nap schedule is 3, 30 minute naps.

I know some people believe letting their child cry it out makes them more clingy and dependant on their parents, but I haven't seen this at all. Kael seemed happier, and although he was more snuggly before his naps, I didn't mind that at all!

I was worried that the only reason it wasn't as bad as I was anticipating was because he had received shots Friday afternoon and I thought they might have helped knock him out. I guess we will see...

Half Way to One!

Dear Baby Kael,

Please stop growing so fast! How has it already been 6 months since the day you were born?!? Time is flying by so fast, and every once in a while I just want to hit the pause button (especially when you give me one of your famous smiles where you squish your face and your eyes get squinty).

I love you more than anything, and there are times I still get tears in my eyes when I look at you and realize that you are mine! I waited so long to have you in my life, and I am a better person because of you. I can't wait to see what is in store for us in the next 6 months to come!

I love you to the moon and back!

Love,

Mom

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For all of those who read this and are mothers, I'm sure you know exactly where I am coming from. 6 months seems to be such a HUGE breaking point. At times I think he is still my little baby, but then when I really look at him and watch him, I realize he isn't a baby anymore. He is this little person who is learning new things each and every day. He is developing mentally and physically over night (literally!). He is halfway to that one year old mark, and to be completely honest, that makes me an emotional train wreck. I can't imagine him being a year old! I know I am jumping ahead of myself, but after seeing how fast these first 6 months went, I know the next 6 are going to FLY by.

After Kael has gone to bed at night, I find myself looking through all of his pictures, starting with the day he was born. It blows my mind how much he has changed in such a short amount of time. He is such a funny little guy, and I love getting to see his personality develop.

He had his 6 month well check appointment yesterday, and he is weighing in at 17 pounds 3 ounces. I didn't get a chance to see how long he was because he was screaming at the top of his lungs. He must be developing stranger anxiety, because anytime one of the nurses or doctor got too close for comfort he lost it.

First of all... he is ALL BOY! He is a mover, who does not like to sit still. He gets bored easily, and will whine as he scoots/crawls across the room until he finds something that is worth while. He is chewing on everything in sight, and although he appears to be teething, he has had the same symptoms for months now, and still no teeth to prove it. He enjoys standing up and even moves his feet in the walking motion if I hold his hands and we move across the room (I have a feeling he is going to be an early walker). He is very independent and even more hard headed. He is a man on a mission when he sees something he wants, and nothing can get in his way. He is beginning to pull himself up, but gets sort of stuck and freaks out. He loves different textures, and has become obsessed with the rug in our kitchen and Winston's hair.

The biggest milestones this month are:

• He has totally mastered sitting up, and can now lay himself down onto his stomach from the sitting position.
• He is scooting/crawling. He is a speedy scooter (I like to call it the army crawl), and is getting up all fours and trying to figure out how to move that way
• He is attempting to pull up, and will stay unsupported in the standing position for a few minutes at a time
• He is picking up food with his whole hand and feeding himself

We have tried nearly every food possible. Carrots, Sweet Potatos, and Peas are his favorite veggies. He is not a big fan of Squash or Green Beans. He has also tried apples, bananas, pears, and pineapple and loves them all.

The biggest problem we are having right now is sleep (or should I say LACK of sleep...) After about 2 weeks in his own room, he came back to the pack n play in our room. His sleep schedule has been AWFUL and has left me tired and miserable. He has started waking multiple times a night, and some nights it is as often as every hour. It has been a real struggle, and I think my frustration really stemmed from the knowledge that he had been sleeping through the night at such a young age, and it seemed to have just disappeared! After desperately buying the "no cry" sleep solution book and getting absolutely nowhere with that, we have started the Ferber method this weekend, after consulting with his doctor of coarse. Last night was our first night, and although it was tough, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would have been. He cried for 20 minutes when I put him down for the night. I went in after 3 minutes, then 5, and then 10. He slept for a solid 4 hours after falling asleep. He woke at 12, 2:30, and 3:30 and went back to sleep after crying for only 3-4 minutes. When he woke at 5:30, I cracked and went ahead and fed him (I felt like 10.5 hours was long enough). He went right back to sleep, and slept soundly until 8:30. But the most amazing thing of all... he took 2 naps today that were each an hour and half long!! That NEVER happens! His naps are usually only 30 minutes, so this was a very nice improvement. I will let you know how the next few nights go.

We are slowly introducing the sippy cup, although I am only putting water in it. For some reason I am not really into the idea of giving him juice. He did really well with his cup, and although he mostly just chews on it, he has the right concept of lifting it to his mouth. The cup we got is pretty cool too. It came with two different nipples, the first being similar to a bottle nipple, and then the more "normal" sippy cup nipple. I'm assuming once he gets the hang of how to use the cup, we will switch to the other nipple.

I am still breast feeding, and although it is taking a lot of work, I am planning on sticking it out until he is one. I love getting to nurse him, and knowing that he is getting the best nutrition possible. I am just having a tough time making sure I pump enough to have milk for him while he is at daycare. I typically am able to pump 4-5 ounces in two pumping sessions, which is enough for one bottle (my body doesn't seem to react well to the pump anymore). The days that he needs 2 bottles at daycare are when I seem to get in a real tough spot. I don't get time to pump at work, so that doesn't help either. I try to sneak away to feed him once a day, but sometimes that just isn't possible, and those days are tough. I think the most formula he has had, is 4 ounces in one day (we had to add 2 ounces of formula to two of his bottles one Saturday when I had an all day training). He wont drink the formula by itself, but if I hide it with another 2-3 ounces of breastmilk he will.

I am so excited for his first Halloween!! His costume(s) is top secret, and I can't wait to post pictures! He is supposed to have his 6 month photo shoot at the end of the month as well, although we are in the process of having it rescheduled because of dad's work... I'm hoping they go better than his "school" pictures they did at the daycare, because he cried the entire time for those (back to the whole stranger anxiety thing...).

Oh, and lastly... he has developed an obsession for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! I know it probably isn't the best idea to have him watching TV, but sometimes it is the only thing that will keep him entertained! We had been planning on doing a beach/pirate theme for his first birthday, but now we are thinking we might need to go with Mickey! I'm hoping he will still love Mickey when he sees him in person in January! :)

** I have sat and waited for my pictures to load for nearly 30 minutes so I am giving up. I will try to post them again tomorrow!

5 Months

The weekend Kael turned 5 months old was jam packed with fun (which resulted in a lack of updating). I hate these in between months that don't have well check appointments since I have no clue how much he has grown (although I don't mind dealing with the shots at all!)

Kael is a machine. He is all boy and likes to MOVE. He rarely stays still, and alot of times looks like he should be swimming, the way he moves his arms and legs when he is on his belly. We will more than likely take him to the pool next weekend, and I can't wait to see how he likes it!

But... onto the updates!

One of the most exciting milestones Kael has reached is he is starting to sit up unsupported. He is still wobbly, but he is increasing the amount of time he can stay up on his own, and really seems to enjoy the new kind of view he gets.

We started cereal and food pretty early. He just always seemed like he needed something more to help hold him over. Since adding food to his diet, he has moved from nursing every 2 hours to every 2.5-3 hours (thank God!). So far, he has tried apples, bananas, and sweet potatoes. He was not a fan of the fruit in the beginning, and is just now starting to warm up to them. He loved sweet potatoes from the very first taste. We will be introducing peas, carrots, and pears over the next 2-3 weeks. Sadly, I have given up on making his baby food. I tried... I swear I did! But he refused to eat it! I will admit... I'm not very good at cooking, and apparently I'm not good at mashing/pureeing either! But we are sticking with all organic, and I feel like if I'm not able to make his baby food, this is the next best thing.

We got our first cold front, and Kael was finally able to buy the first outfit his auntie Lauren ever bought him (and just in time, he was about to outgrow it!)

(check out those toes... I just want to eat them!!)

We moved Kael into his own room. :( It was one of the hardest things I have had to do so far! He did pretty good- although his sleep schedule has been totally out of whack. From the picture, you can see that he has learned to roll onto his side while he is sleeping... but more than that, he is now rolling onto his stomach as well. My assumption is that when he startles or wakes a little, and he is on his stomach, he becomes really confused and can't soothe himself back to sleep. He had been sleeping 9 hour stretches, and then this rolling over thing ruined everything! He started waking about every 45 minutes. We thought he had an ear infection- nope. We thought it was teething- nope. So we are back to the rolling thing... last night in pure desperation I stuck a pillow next to Kael's belly/legs (don't worry, it was FAR from his face) to keep him from rolling, and guess what... he slept!!

Here is his typical 5 month picture. It is getting so much harder to get a good picture of him since he is wiggling around so much these days! Never the less, that smile is all I need to consider this picture perfect. :)

The day Kael turned 5 months old, we took him to his first rodeo. It was the Kodiak fair and rodeo, and we had a blast! It made me so homesick, even though the rodeo was pitiful compared to what we are used to. It was a rainy and nasty day (big surprise considering where we live), but it was still worth it. Kael loved the animals (his favorite was the chicken...), I loved watching the rodeo, and Kevin loved to pulled pork sandwiches. It was perfect.

It has only taken me about a week to get this post finished. I am fairly certain we might have a hyper active child. He refuses to sit still, and gets bored so easily. I'm glad that he is so into the world around him, but I never get a break! Anyway... we took him to the doctor this week for a cough that he has had for a while, so we got his weight.

drum roll please...................16 pounds 10 ounces!

How in the world in my little man so big already?!?

And just for fun, here are pictures of Kael giving mommy and daddy some of his famous baby kisses! I love those drooly, open mouth kisses more than anything!

I absolutely LOVE the way he is holding Kevin's face! Heart warming...

Mommy Moment

Tomorrow Kael turns 5 months old. I should be starting on that post, but I can't seem to wrap my head around it. I find myself asking, "how is this possible? How has it already been 5 months?" Which then turns into..."If these 5 months have already gone by this fast, he is going to be one in the blink of an eye!"

I think you see where I'm going with that... As soon as I realize that he is growing (and I can't stop it) and the time is flying by, I start realize that he is not going to stay this little for very long. I know there is lots of fun in store in the months/years to come. I look forward to him walking and talking. I can't wait to hear him say "mama" for the first time, or for him to actually run up to give me a hug and a kiss. But a huge part of me is not ready to let go of this baby stage. I know you probably think I am nuts... he is only 5 months old. But he wont be for long.

I have had 4 friends within the past week announced their pregnancies. On top of the 3 other friends who are further along, that is a grand total of 7! Of coarse there is NO way that Kevin and I would start trying for another baby right now, but it gives me a weird longing in my chest. I miss being pregnant. I miss the excitement and anticipation. I miss the little nudges and listening to the tiny heart beating inside of my belly. I miss having a big ol' belly and being able to watch my baby move across it.

But then I have to stop myself. I may miss the joys of pregnancy, but that whole 9 months led to this... what I have sleeping in his own room for the first time. A sweet baby boy who has his dad's nose and lots and lots of gorgeous hair. A tiny mole on his right shoulder and chubby little toes. A smile that can bring tears to my eyes and a laugh that is contagious.

I look at him, and I can't help but to thank God. I immediately realize how truly blessed I am. He was the answer to my prayers, and it was Kael that we waited so long for.

I have found myself envious lately. I envy my friends buying their first homes, who have good jobs, and nice cars. I am especially envious of those who live close to family and friends. And I have struggled with these feelings countless times. But every time I begin to feel defeated, all I have to do is look at Kael. We may live thousands of miles away from our loved ones, in a crappy military 4-plex, where I work for a little more than minimum wage, and drive an older car... but I have him... and nothing else matters. The luxuries that I once yearned for, mean little to me now. As long as I have Kevin and Kael, I am happy. I am thankful for what God has given us, and I can't wait to see what else he has in store.

On a side note... my cousin is going through a lot right now. A week ago, several tumors were found on her husbands lungs and kidneys. He will be going to MD Anderson in Houston on Tuesday. Please keep their family in your thoughts and prayers. They have two kids- a sophomore in high school and an 8th grader. I can't imagine what they are feeling right now, and wish more than ever that I could be there to offer some support.

Mid Month Check-In

Alright, it's a little more than mid month, and really only about a week before Kael turns 5 months old, but things are happening and changing so quickly that I feel like I need to start updating more often.

I never did get to post his "usual" pose for his 4 month shoot- so here it is.

I know I am slightly biased, but isn't he cute! He is going to be a heartbreaker...

Well, where to begin?

This month Kevin and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary. We have been together for roughly TEN years! We met and started dating when I was a freshman in high school, a mere 14 years old! We had our rough patches and did the whole break up/get back together thing, but I always knew that he was my soul mate. Kevin has been by my side through everything and I mean everything! He has seen me at my absolute lowest and has helped pick me up and wipe the dirt off my back. He is my best friend, and my biggest support. This anniversary was so different than the rest, we have Kael. The previous two anniversaries, I was pregnant. Having Kael here this year was just a reminder of how truly blessed we are. Kevin is an amazing father, and I can't wait to watch Kael follow his daddy's foot steps. Here is Kael the morning of our anniversary. His shirt says, "Daddy and I Love Mommy" :)

We went for our first jog together. He was a trooper, and lasted a whopping ten minutes before he was passed out. I on the other hand, had my butt handed to me on a silver platter! Pushing that little chunk was much tougher than I anticipated. I made it through my jog with a few more walking breaks than I hoped for, but was thankful we were able to get out and enjoy some of the beautiful Alaska weather we have been having. Sadly, the day we went for a run was the last nice day we have had in about 2 weeks... it is back to being cold (mid 50's) and rainy. So long summer... hello nasty winter!

He is all over the place now! Putting him on his quilt is pretty pointless since he manages to roll himself off within a matter of seconds. You can tell he is pretty proud of himself too.

We took Kael to his first church service, and other than spewing all over me, the pew, and the floor, he did great! He enjoyed the singing and was intrigued by the ceiling fans. He fell asleep about halfway through the sermon, and was out the rest of the service. The church family was amazing and so welcoming. It is a tiny church where everyone knows each other, and just made us feel right at home. Oh, he also got several compliments on his hair. :) After church we went to have lunch at on of our few restaurants, and Kael was just not having it in his carseat. We tried putting him in one of the high chairs, and he was in heaven! It was like he felt like he was part of the conversation, and just looked around at all people around us.

Kael also had his first haircut this month! We have really been debating on when we would be doing this, and had originally agreed to 6 months. This past week I went in for a hair cut, and when Kevin and Kael came to pick me up, Kevin finally caved and said we could cut it! The lady who cut his hair was GREAT and really didn't cut much off at all. She had Kael sit on my lap, and kept him distracted by letting him play with some of her combs. I was really happy with how it turned out. She mainly cut off his mullet in the back, took a little off one side to help even it out (that darn bald side!), and cut a little off the top so it didn't hang in his eyes. I can't really tell he even got it cut- although Kevin swears he can! He is blurry in all of the pictures since he was moving so much. :(

I guess that is all of the MAJOR stuff that has happened this month. I wont spoil everything so I will still have something to write about for his 5 month post.

Baby Kael... can you please slow down?!?

Reality

After reading a friend's blog last night, I laughed to myself as I began to realize something. While I was pregnant, I had all sorts of "ideas" as to how I would do things once my bundle of joy arrived. Of coarse, the majority of them went straight out the window once Kael joined us, and I'm just wondering if this is how most moms have felt.

Here are a few examples:

Thought- My baby will not leave the house (except for Dr. visits) until he is 6 weeks old.

Reality- After his Dr. appointment at 4 days old, we made a trip to Walmart and went and had Mexican food

Thought- He will only sleep in his pack-n-play in our room until he is a month old

Reality- He is still sleeping there... and he is 4 months old!

Thought- I wont cut his hair until he is a year old

Reality- I would cut it right now if Kevin would let me! Our agreement is 6 months

Thought-He is going to wear baby jeans and shoes everyday (just because they are so cute!)

Reality- He wears "stretchy" pants when he is at daycare, but as soon as we get home even those get stripped off! I would rather him be comfy than cute

Thought- I'll breastfeed for 3 months MAX

Reality- I have fallen in love with breastfeeding, and will probably continue until he is one (the fact that he refuses formula plays a role in that decision as well...)

Thought- No trying for another baby until he is at least two

Reality- I think about having another baby ALL.THE.TIME. I feel really guilty about it too. Will we try for another one right now... NO WAY, but I'm pretty sure once he is a year old we will start trying again.

4 Months Old

Every month I think to myself... how is this possible?!? It is amazing how fast time flies by when you want to cherish every single moment. I look at Kael every morning and wonder to myself, "is it possible that I love him even more than yesterday?" I feel like with every day that passes, my heart just grows a little bit more. I miss having a newborn, but getting to look at a smile like this one...
Makes everything that much more exciting. It makes me excited to watch his personality continue to grow, each milestone, his first steps, his first words... there is just so much to look forwards to! Although I can already tell I am going to have my hands full! He is not "easy going"- but rather a busy body. He gets bored quickly, and wants to go, go, go!

At about 3 months, 3 weeks Kael found his toes... and has become obsessed! Anytime he lays on his back, he immediately grabs his toes. He is slowly starting to figure out how to put them in his mouth as well. I can't put him in his bumbo seat anymore either, since all he does is bend over and grab at his feet and try to pull them to his mouth- it pretty much defeats the purpose of the chair!

At 3 months, 2 weeks Kael rolled over from back to belly... and hasn't stopped! He doesn't stay on his back for very long before he flips himself over. After 2 weeks of rolling like this, he learned how to roll back and forth between back and belly. I will walk out of the kitchen into the living room, and he will be half way to the kitchen, leaving his blanket far behind! Once he got the hang of rolling down, he began pivoting. Once he gets himself onto his belly, he pivots himself around in a circle until he can see what it is he is looking for, or grab the toy he wants. Needless to say... I don't think we have much longer before he begins scooting and crawling (which is scary to think about!).
This is the 8th week that he has been in daycare (and I have been back to work!) Seriously?! How did that happen?!? As much as I dreaded having to put him in daycare, I am actually really glad that he is there. It's amazing to watch him already interacting with the other babies. He loves to watch the older babies crawl past him (he tries to grab their hair!) or jump up and down in the exersaucer next to him. He smiles at them, and even reaches out to touch their hands or feet. There are two other babies that are just days apart from him (and another one about to start soon), so half the class is 4 month olds! It's interesting to see where each of them are at developmentally, and to see how they each grow and learn at their own rate.
We have also started rice cereal. I am using Earth's Best Organic Whole Grain cereal, and he LOVES it. He is eating about 2-3 tablespoons with an ounce of breast milk for breakfast and dinner. He devours it! He has come a long way with the spoon, and has no problems with it anymore. I am still debating when we will start fruits and vegetables. I know it is a sore topic with most parents, as far as when you should start, but his doctor told us that as soon as he is comfortable with the spoon and cereal, to go ahead and start slowly adding in the rest. I plan on making my own, and will probably start him off with avocado and green beans. I'd like to wait until he is 5 months, but with the rate he is going, I wouldn't be surprised if I started earlier.

This past Friday, he had his 4 month well child check. He is 26 1/4 inches long (90th percentile) and 15 pounds 13 ounces (50-75th percentile). They are still concerned about the flat spot on the one side of his head, and continue to gripe at me to keep him off the back of his head. I don't know how to do that anymore! He rarely does lay on his back other than when he is sleeping, and I switch which direction he is lying each night. My biggest fear is that they will eventually tell us that he will need a helmet to reshape his head, although I really doubt his flat spot is that bad.

He is still doing good with his sleep, going from 8pm-5am pretty much every night. He eats at 5, then goes back to sleep until 7:30am. He is starting to stretch his feedings out to 2.5-3 hours during the day. He typically takes 3-4 naps, each lasting about an hour. He is becoming very predictable, in the sense that he is eating and napping at almost the exact same times each day.

We have moved up to size 3 diapers, and he is now wearing 6-9 month clothes.

He is vocal, and loves chatting away with anyone who will listen. He is starting to say "ba" and use consonant sounds. He has the sweetest laugh, and singing, tickling, big/dramatic bounces on your knee, and kissing his neck will make him giggle.

He is losing the hair on the right side of his head :( He looks like he has a real old-man comb over now! It breaks my heart, but I know it will grow back. We still aren't completely sure what color hair he is going to have. Some days it looks very light and golden brown, but other days it looks much darker with a red tinge. I guess only time will tell! We have also agreed that we will cut his hair at 6 months. I'm ready to cut it now! His mullet is BAD, and the top is so long I can't even try to spike it up anymore, but Kevin is the one putting his foot down on this matter.

My heart is happy... I love my son more than words can express, and every night before I go to bed I can't help but thank God for giving me everything that I have ever wanted. :)

What's New

I realize that this blog has become consumed with Kael. Mostly my pregnancy with him, and his monthly updates. I feel guilty at times, but then I take a step back. He is my world now. Nothing else seems to matter. I have a smile on my face all day long each time he accomplishes something new. I can't wait to brag, and what better way, than on my very own, personal blog!

But as much as I am consumed with Kael, I am learning that I need to take time for myself. I love the child to pieces, but for my own sanity I have to get away every once in a while.

After I had Kael, I knew I needed to do something drastic to get into shape. I want to be able to keep up with him. I can already envision him crawling and walking and running around this house. I want him to run and play outside, and I want to be able to chase him and not feel out of breath. I want to take pictures of our family, and love them to pieces, instead of glaring at my double chin and wanting to crop myself out.

Kevin and I began weight watchers when Kael was about 9 weeks old. We have both fallen in love with the program and have been seeing great results. Kevin found his niche with Crossfit. It's a form or working out that is mainly weighs, and using your body (pull-ups, push-ups, etc). I on the other hand, wasn't really sure where to turn, in terms of exercise. I have always been involved in sports and considered myself athletic, but after high school I just let it all slip away. I found a program called couch to 5k. It seemed easy enough. A 9 week program, which starts you extremely slow, and helps you build up to 3 miles in a work out. I figured this was perfect for me since I needed something that would start me off slow since I was just getting back into the swing of things. I was also deathly afraid of working out after giving birth, due to my 4th degree tear.

After my first week, I was hooked. I have come to love running... and find myself wanting more. I am only supposed to run 3 days a week, but I am itching to hit that treadmill. I don't know what it is. Why I feel this draw to running. Maybe because it allows me to have some "me" time. It gives me a chance to empty my mind, and just go. I find myself wondering, "Why am I running?". One reason is to thank God for allowing me to have this body. That I was able to carry a child to full term and give birth to a beautiful baby boy. I want to take care of this body from now on, in hopes that I will be lucky enough to provide Kael with siblings. Another reason is to reward myself. I deserve that time to myself. It also helps relieve any stress or frustration I might be feeling, and actually helps give me the extra energy I need due to the lack of sleep I am now experiencing.

Once I realized that this was something that I really enjoyed, I went to Kevin. I wanted to find a way to push myself. Not to settle for running a 5k and then quitting the program. So I have decided to train for a half marathon! I am actually really excited, and find myself pushing a little harder with each work out. And what better way to push myself, than to sign up for the Walt Disney World Half Marathon! We will be going to Disney January 5-10, and the race is on the 7th. I am so excited, I can barely stand it! We booked our trip today, and I can't stop grinning. We wanted to go to Disney for our honeymoon, but just didn't have the money to do it back then. This will be the first vacation Kevin and I have taken together since we have been married, and I couldn't be happier that Kael gets to join in the fun this time around. I know he wont remember anything, but I will never forget! :)

3 Months

It seems unreal that Kael is already 3 months old! 1/4 of the way to the big O.N.E.

A lot has changed over the past few weeks, the biggest thing being the fact that we don't get to stay at home and play with each other all day long anymore. I went back to work on June 20th, and although he is in the same room as me, it just isn't the same. I have 7 other babies that I am taking care of, and we rarely have a moment to sit and play or talk. I am lucky in the fact that I usually get to breastfeed him once or twice while I am there. He still gets a bottle around lunch time, but it is so nice to take 10 minutes to sit and feed him and "reconnect". I also went to part-time, so I get off at 2pm instead of 5pm now. It is kind of like the best of both worlds. I am still able to help financially, I get to have a few hours which include adult interaction, and Kael gets to learn social skills and play with new toys. But then we get to come home early enough that we still get plenty of time to spend with each other before he has to go to bed. It also gives me more time to get things done around the house, and not feel like I am going non-stop from sun up to sun down (although the sun isn't really going down at this point...)

We have had a few issues with Kael recently. We are still dealing with the reflux, which causes him to spit up massive amounts at a time. He literally goes through about 6 outfits a day (and that is with him wearing a bib as well!). He has also developed a rash on his face. We have taken him in on two different occasions to have it looked at, and I think we finally have it under control. The first appointment ended with the doctor telling us that he thought he was allergic to something I was eating, and had me cut out dairy for two weeks. If that made it go away, we knew the problem. Well... it didn't go away. So we went back on Friday, and the doctor we saw at this appointment (he was an Aggie!!) thought it is just an extreme case of eczema. He told us to put hydrocortizone cream on his face twice a day, and to put vasoline on it, at every diaper change. I thought he was full of it... but after only 2 days, the rash has gone away! His face looks like a big ol' grease ball with that vasoline on it, but if it keeps the rash away, we will deal with that (although I miss giving him kisses on the cheeks!).

Since we were just at the doctor, I know what his weight is as well. He is now up to 14 pounds 8 ounces! His weight gain is slowing, and he actually doesn't seem as chunky as he used to, but he is still such a big boy!

Speaking of being a big boy, here are some of Kael's "talents" at 3 months old:

1.) He is learning to actually enjoy tummy time. He does great holding his head/chest up, and is starting to kick his legs around as well. He is also starting to rock, and has come close to rolling over, but hasn't gotten there yet.
2.) He loves his bumbo! He enjoys watching the dogs run by him, or following my voice around the room. He has even started to watch TV (not sure that is a good thing...) He typically only looks at it when he hears music (his new favorite show is Glee!)


3.) He is doing LOTS with his hands. He folds them together on his chest, he loves holding rattles (except when he hits himself in the face with it), he will pull his pacifier out (and then get really mad), and he pulled my glasses off my face yesterday!

4.) He is a huge fan of his jump-a-roo. The swing has been put away for good, and has been replaced with something that he enjoys 10x more. He is so entertained while he is in the jump-a-roo. He does great putting pressure on his legs, and sometimes gets to excited he looks like "Happy Feet".

5.) We are still having some issues with his sleep. It has gotten much better, but it is just much more unpredictable. For the most part, he will go to bed at 8pm, and wake up around 5:30am to eat, then goes back to sleep until 7:30am, which is when I wake him up to get ready to go to work/daycare. I'm not sure why he is getting up for that feeding at 5:30am, but I'm hoping he will drop it again pretty soon.

6.) He still loves his bath time. It almost seems as though it is his favorite part of the day. I know it is mine! I love giving him his bath (or watching Kevin give it to him), and wrapping him in his towel and putting him into his pajamas. He looks so cute when he is all clean and ready for bed! :)

7.) When Kael was 7 weeks old, we made a trip to Texas. I didn't get to write about it in his 2 month update since Kevin's family in town, but he did great on the plane, and with all of the driving and traveling in general. The whole reason for our trip down there was to surprise my little sister since she was graduating from high school. So here is a 3 month picture... just for my baby sister, Lauren!

8.) We are excited to be celebrating Kael's first 4th of July tomorrow. Thankfully Kevin will be off work, so we will get to enjoy the day as a family (which doesn't happen very often). And what better way to celebrate, than with an Alaskan fish fry!

9.) Kael is beginning to smile all the time. First thing in the morning (after he eats), he is all smiles. It is hard for me to get anything done since I want to enjoy every single smile.

10.) He is also becoming a chatter box. He will carry on little conversations with me, taking turns listening and talking back and forth.

11.) And the most exciting so far is hearing his little laugh! It brought tears to my eyes, it was so cute! I am determined to get a video of it!

But as much as we make Kael laugh, he makes us laugh just as much! Exhibit 1...

(what can I say... he gets REALLY excited after he eats!)

Change

I am a person of habit. I need structure and to be honest... I need to be in control. Having a baby pretty much throws all of these things out the window. I have learned that I am no longer in control AT ALL! But that is okay... I have no problem letting Kael take the lead.

Where my problem lays is in change. When he decides to change his routine or schedule. I know babies are meant to throw us through a loop every now and again, but I guess I am spoiled. Kael has always been such a happy and easy baby. For about a week now, he has been waking through the night again, and has been extra cranky. I am assuming he is going through his 3 month go growth spurt, since things are beginning to go back to normal, but let me tell you! I was losing my mind!! Not to mention, he decided to start this nonsense the weekend before I had to go back to work!

And that is the biggest change of all. I was excited about going back to work. It was ideal... working in the infant room, having Kael right there with me all day long. WRONG! My first day back I was told that a parent had already expressed concern about me being in the same room as my child. Because of that, I feel like I can't pick him up, hold him, talk to him, etc. because my every move is being watched. I feel like I am ignoring him and it is killing me! I have come home every day and just held him and cried because I feel like such a horrible mother. I keep thinking it will get easier, but each day it seems to get harder. I feel like I am missing out. I know he wont stay this little for very long, and I just want to cherish every moment of it. By the time we get home from work, I only have 3 hours with him before he is out for the night, and an hour of that is his evening nap (he is still napping every 2-3 hours!).

His night time routine is pure bliss for me. I love giving him his bath and snuggling up and feeding him. I miss getting to breastfeed him. I hate pumping. I feel like every free moment I have, I am pumping to keep up my supply and so that he can have it in a bottle. But it just isn't the same... I love breastfeeding him. That is such a special time between the two of us, and now I am only getting to feed him 2-3 times a day, and it breaks my heart.

I knew being a mom wouldn't be easy... but I didn't know it would be because I love him too much!

2 Months!

Kael ceases to amaze me each and every day. He has grown and changed so much, and has already developed his own little personality. Two months sounds like such a short amount of time, but the changes, development, and bonds that have been formed make it feel as though Kael has been a part of our life for much longer.

Since I have family in town, Kevin getting ready for work, and a baby who is wide awake, I'm going to just cut to the chase.

Kael had his 2 month appointment on June 10th. He weighed in at a whopping 13lbs 10ozs and 24.5 inches long! He is in the 75th percentile for weight and 95th percentile for height! I can't believe what a "tall" baby we have, considering neither Kevin or myself are very tall. He is right on track with his development, and personally I feel like he is slightly advanced (although that is coming from a very proud mother). He got his immunizations at this appointment, which included 3 shots and 1 oral vaccine. It broke me heart to watch his face go from content and clueless to full of pain. His cry and scream made my heart sink into my stomach and all I wanted to do was make everything better.

Now... all about Kael at 2 months:
1.) He is sleeping through the night...every night! Typically he eats at 8pm, is asleep by 8:30pm and wakes up around 6am. This makes for one happy mamma! :)
2.) He has mastered the art of sucking his thumb (and prefers his left one)
3.) He recognizes my voice and will look around the room until he finds me. Once he spots me, he gives me the biggest gummy grin that melts my heart every time!
4.) He is holding his head/neck up during tummy time and is able to push up with his arms to get his chest off the ground as well.
5.) He loves his bumbo chair! He is very content sitting in it and just looking around the room. It is shocking how alert he has become.
6.) He is now grabbing toys that are hanging in front of him, and holding onto them
7.) We are up to size 2 diapers
8.) In Carter's brand clothes, he is wearing 6 months. He can also fit into Circo (Target brand) 9 month onesies!
9.) He is beginning to push with his legs, and I have a feeling we will be pulling out the jump-a-roo/exersaucer in about 2 weeks.
10.) He will start going to work with me on Monday, June 20th! I still can't believe its already time to re-enter the "real" world!

Holy Cow!!

First of all... I just noticed that my "one month old" post for Kael has seemed to have disappeared... or I just never actually posted it. hmmm.... the brain of a new mom! I guess I will go back and see if I can find it somewhere!

But the real reason I'm posting is because I am so proud of my little (ish) man! Today he is 7 weeks old, and I'm proud to say that he has slept through the night for the past 3 nights in a row!! I can't believe it!

Night 1: 9:45-6:45 (9 hours)
Night 2: 9:15-4:15 (7 hours) ate and went right back to sleep 4:30-8:30 (4 hours) total= 11 hrs.
Night 3: 9:30-7:30 (10 hours)

I am in total shock! Mainly because it felt like it came out of nowhere. It wasn't a gradual increase like what I was expecting. He jumped from sleeping 4 hours at a time with the occasional 5 hours stretch, to all night long!

I know that he went through a growth spurt last week, so I'm sure that had something to do with it. I've also read that once they reach 11 pounds their metabolism starts working more effectively and they are able to hold off longer between feedings. 14 pounds seems to be another magic number I have heard, and he is right between the two. Not to mention, he has totally mastered the art of sucking his thumb! I can hear him trying to find it in the middle of the night... sucking on his hand and arm until he finally gets the thumb. I was really hoping he wouldn't be a thumb sucker, but I guess there isn't much I can do about it now (and thankfully he only seems to do it to help himself fall asleep).

Well, Kael and I have a big day tomorrow and I have a lot to take care of so I better stop procrastinating and get to work while he is napping!