4 Weeks Post Partum

Seriously?!? How in the world has it been 4 weeks already? Since Kael wont technically be 1 month old until the 3rd, I decided I would do a post on me (shocking I know!).

First of all, I don't have any pictures of myself to upload. This is because any picture that is taken of me that shows below my chest typically gets deleted since they make me want to barf. I have lost 20-25 pounds of the 35 that I gained. It all sort of melted it off around the 2 week mark. I remember being overjoyed when I got on the scale and saw that- I figured losing the baby weight and getting my body back would be a breeze! Well... another 2 weeks have gone by, and not a pound has come off. I don't understand it to be honest. I don't eat much (it's pretty tough when every time I sit down to have a meal, Kael starts to cry) and I'm drinking tons and tons of water since breast feeding seems to really dehydrate me. But more than the scale, it is my body as a whole. Although I have lost weight, I feel as though I still look pregnant (in clothes). But as soon as I lift my shirt, it looks like something straight out of a horror movie! A big saggy blob that is supposed to be my stomach just hangs there. It is covered in dark stretch marks that look like scars, and I seem to have widened. Any waistline that I had before is now non-existent and don't get me started of my hips, thighs, or ass! Don't get me wrong... I would live with my body like this forever if it meant having my baby boy, but it can get tough on a girl's self esteem. I know I just had a baby...I know it takes time...I know I'm still beautiful, but when you have an abundance of hormones still racing through your body you can't help but get a little frustrated.

On the other hand... let me tell you about these boobs! I now know what it would feel like if I had fake boobs that are hard and perky and don't require you to wear a bra! I feel like I could give Dolly Parton or Pamela Anderson some competition with these ta-tas. But they aren't all fun and games. I have worn a bra every minute of every day (besides in the shower) since Kael was born. They hurt otherwise- mainly being sore from breast feeding, but also I have to wear nursing pads to help with any leaking. Thankfully I haven't had any embarrassing moments on that front yet. Breast feeding is actually going really well. Kael latched on like a pro, and I never had sore or cracked nipples. My milk came in around day 4, and I have felt like a milk cow since then! I actually had to deal with engorgement for 3-4 days rather than pump to help decrease my supply. It seems to have evened out, and is producing the perfect amount for Kael. It is so amazing how our bodies work! I have about 50 bags of frozen milk to use once I go back to work, and will hopefully be increasing that supply soon. I haven't pumped in about 2 weeks, but we plan on introducing bottles within the week, so I will start pumping once a day again(a bottle for Kael, and a bottle to freeze). I'm excited to have Kevin help with the feedings and to give him the opportunity to bond with Kael, but at the same time I can feel my heart breaking just a little thinking about missing out on that time with him. I know I have to get him used to bottles for when I go back to work, but I love the time we have when he nurses.

My recovery has been pretty easy considering what a horrible delivery I had. I never took anything stronger than 800 mg of motrin, and after about 10 days I stopped taking it. my biggest complaint is that I'm ready for these stitches to dissolve already! I can feel them sort of pull when I do certain things. I am also still bleeding (sorry for the TMI). I am so sick of it, and REALLY hope it stops soon. It has been like having a period for a month straight... not fun! Other than that, I feel like I am recovering pretty quickly. Kevin and I actually went out and did alot with Kael pretty early on. We have taken several walks with the stroller, I have used the carrier once, and I actually just got the Ergo baby carrier which I'm really excited to try out!

I'm slowly starting to get more sleep at night. It still isn't much, but a big improvement from the 1.5-2 hours I was getting the first 2 weeks. I just keep telling myself it will get better, and I'm really working to get Kael on a good schedule that will hopefully help him sleep through the night by 2 months old.

But of coarse the best part of being 4 weeks post partum is my sweet baby boy! I can't wait to do his 1 month old post! Keep a look out, I will be posting it on Tuesday.